This is Tommie - Beginning of 10th grade or perpertual Friday the 13th

When we moved back to the Atlanta area we moved to College Park. To lovers of hip-hop this place is well known now but, back in the late 80's early 90's it was just a suburb of Atlanta with country people. The school I went to was called North Clayton and I had decided over the summer that they weren't going to punk me like they did at my old school. I was going to show them I was the boss. Well that was right before I stepped in there. My school at the time was going through what is known as white flight. From what I can tell this is an American centric event. This is what happens a black family moves into a white neighorborhood and then all the white people move out, driving down property values and the coffers from tax revenue. So at the time when I got there the school was probably 45% Black 45% White and 10% Asian. Mexicans, Indians, and Native Americans didn't exist when I was growing up.

My folks made a conscious effort to insure that there were some white people around to lessen the blow that we had encountered in New Orleans but, they wanted my brother and I to live around Blacks. We were getting older and they thought it was important to have a Black social perspective. One of the things liked to do was read the newspaper. It was a habit that I picked up from my Dad and I enjoyed it. So the first day of school here I come with a newspaper in my hand. While all the other kids were socializing and stuff I'm reading the paper. I was reading the business section to be exact. Well that was a big mistake intelligence isn't a value that is cherished in the Black community and more often than not in my experince I was punished for displaying my intellegence anywhere but at home. There was this kid at my school named Jason, he was the 800 lb Gorilla of intellegnece punishment. Jason was on the basketball team and from what I know he was pretty good. He also was a master of snaps, or the dozens, we called it joanin' I don't know what they call it down your way.

Well anyway with me being a new kid in school with a squeaky white boy's voice and reading a paper I was like bloody meat in a shark pen. Oh he talked about me so bad. I'll never forget I was in Mr. Shockly's health class. I was sitting in the front because my Mom told me sitting in the front is where all the smart people sit and it will show the teacher that you are paying attention. Note to all Mom's everywhere don't advise your children to sit in the front. They believe in you and you are only setting them up for social humiliation. Oh yeah, going to school to be an Engineer doesn't get you all the women when you get out of school either.

Jason would talk about me so hard I was like his favorite whipping boy everyday. I dreaded going in that class and it was the first class of my day. It wasn't him that was so bad he has a gang of sychophants that followed him around everywhere. I was like where do they come from and are they even in our class? So every time he would say something there were always three or four clowns that would laugh at what he said even if it wasn't funny (In hindsight some of the things he said were funny I just didn't want it to be me).

Well, I had taken worse in New Orleans but I was just tired of it. I hated him and I mean I hated him with every fiber of my being. I would have killed him if I could have gotten away with it. As a matter of fact we went to the library often and I happened to find this book on bomb making. It had all sorts of instructions on how to make a bomb. I could have never checked that book out and gone home with it my folks were like Gestapo police. All the rules and regulations provided by the US Constitution ended and the front steps of my house also known as the Undemocratic Republic of Hustlestonia. Freedom didn’t exist. So I would go to the library and I memorized the directions for making a pipe bomb that could be detonated by remote. I still know how to do it today.

I could have set it bomb up to explode with an egg timer or by remote control. I figured that remote control would have been better because I could insure that I got the right person after that I needed a way to get in his locker when no one was looking. So I would spend time walking by his locker and I ended up memorizing his combination from watching him so I knew his combination and I knew that as long as no one knew I knew how to get into his locker they wouldn't suspect me. I knew or at least thought I knew how to make a blast small enough to kill only the person that opened the locker. However, I could never find anytime that he would be alone

There are several reasons why I didn’t attempt to do it.

1. I couldn't figure out a way to kill him without hurting anyone else: With him being on the Basketball team he was popular and there were always people around. I never wanted to hurt anyone else even the smallest explosion I had in mind would have probably injured two more people.
2. I didn’t have any money: If I asked my folks for money they would ask why and if I said I need it for shotgun shells, PVC pipe, tape, a battery and battery cable that wouldn’t have gone over to well.
3. I didn’t have a car: Even if I did squirrel away some cash my Mom would have to take me to the store. So even then I would have been busted as soon as I got in the car. Anything you brought into the Undemocratic Republic of Hustlestonia up for search and seizure.
4. In reality, I didn't want to hurt him I just wanted him to stop picking on me.

However, I did get a evil sense of pride at the fact that every time he said something to me I knew I could kill him if I really wanted to. That was another of my small confidence builders. Knowing that I could potentially do something to someone and they never know about it. I could never lord over them in real life but I could in my mind.