Remember, unless you find the body, it's not dead

I thought this was something only main villians said to their henchmen, but it is true. I've been engaged in a fight to the death with this fly for over a day. I believe the fly's dark lord has imbued it with a higher than normal intelligence. On top of the standard abilities to attack the eyes, nose, ears, and mouth of its intended target this fly knows to fly low and stay near the target pretty much exploiting the sole weakness of my superior defense system. I need a line of sight and distance to be effective. This fly will fly near my body and will only make itself known right before it attacks my eyes and of course I can't smash it in my eyes. I'm forced to reposition myself and of course the fly, being a master of Iraqi insurgent tactics, finds a place to hide and just waits for another chance to strike.

This fly has repeated this process too many times for this to be a mere coincidence. This is a concentrated effort the skills of which this fly could have only gained by attending a fly terrorist camp. Of course this has resulted in me going on a hunt to track and kill this fly. I was armed with April 2005 Car and Driver magazine that gave me the width and additional reach to eliminate my prey. Hmmm...prey is not the correct word; prey assumes that I have an advantage versus the fly. I don't. We will call the fly my opponent.

I have hit my opponent 6 times by my count and each time it looked as if I had a solid strike. Locked and loaded with my C&D-Apr2005 I have spiked my opponent like volleyball and I have seen it strike the wall. In the states this would result in an insta-kill. Not so here, aside from the harsh environment the deal the class Hexapoda has made with Satan provides them with unholy endurance, stamina, and durability. Each time I thought it dead, and each time I have found myself again assaulted at my eyeballs.

This post looks contiguous but each break is where I have had to leave the computer and engage in battle. This time I emerge victorious. In the final battle my opponent darted at my ears and eyes confusing me, making me unable to focus, as a result I swung wildly at my opponent's phantom trails. I was on the verge of defeat when my opponent suddenly broke off its attack and then I saw how it was able to move so stealthily. My opponent was flying no more than 6 inches off the ground. I mean how, brilliant was that. Had it not given me that second I would have never known. After that it was only a matter of time. I continued to track it for about 2 minutes. I wanted it to be at ease with its surroundings. I crept up behind it and it must have noticed my shadow because it paused for a second. But it was that second that gave me the advantage. I barreled down on it as hard as I could. It began to take flight. It was faster than I anticipated. I ended up only getting a piece of my opponent. It was just good enough, the pressure wave that followed my mighty swing disoriented my opponent and he came crashing to the ground. I gave him no quarter. I instantly moved to step on it with my right foot. The fly, realizing the futility of further resistance bowed before me as to say; "Well played human, well played." the last thing it saw was the imprint of my size 10½ shoes.