Shower Stories: The one thing you don't want to hear

They just ran out of hot water (well that or “The guy who just walked in here has some pretty lips, let’s get him boys!). This one particular day I was disgusting I mean pure D filth and I was determined come hell or high water to take a shower the next morning. I would have taken on that night but, it was about bitterly cold outside and I was freezing with all my gear on. The idea of walking a couple hundred meters in the freezing cold and the dark of night with sandals shorts a T-Shirt and a towel didn’t seem like a good idea.

The next morning I hop up and open the door to get a feel for how it is outside (still bone chilling) I say to myself it’s cold but, you know what I’ll get a few minutes of joy from the heat of the shower and the feeling of cleanliness. The price of feeling like a member of the human society is well worth the 200-meter dash to the shower. I grab my towels and wash gear and head over to the showers. I mean it’s is freezing outside an I’m in some shorts, t-shirt, and some flip-flops. You want to run but the ground is all rocks so if you want to lose your shower shoes (and if you look on the floor of these showers that not what you want to do) or get rocks all under your feet you suck it up and walk calmly.

I get to the showers start taking off my clothes and wrap a towel around me then I start brushing my teeth. The high humidity of the showers is calming and you just want to relax for a second. Minutes later I hear a cacophony of yells, screams, and various swear and about 5 dudes jump out of the showers at the same time. Guy looks at me and says. Showers just ran out of hot water.

I look at him and say, “You…have…got to be…shitting me.”

He says, “Nope, no hot water.”

The guys that in various degrees of soapiness validate his claim.

DILEMMA

Now then, I am filthy as hell. I’ve never felt this grimy and dirty in my life. It’s 20 gazillion below 0 with the wind whipping around like it’s nobody’s business. So I have to make a decision I can go back to the room get dressed for the day and try my luck after work when it’s colder and darker but with hot water however, for the remainder of the day I would still smell like hot garbage. Or I could buck up, jump in the shower, freeze my ass off, and feel like a human for the rest of the day doing myself and others around me a valuable service. I had already committed to a shower and I’m not quitter so I buck up and jump in the shower. I’m instantly blasted with water with icicles in it. Oh my God, it was so cold but, I had to leave it on long enough to get my body and hair wet. If I ever had to torture someone I think I would use cold showers. I get my body and hair wet enough to apply soap and I turn the water off. I breathe a sigh of relief, the frozen hell is over. I’m still shivering like a wet puppy but the heat from the shower room is seeping in so I feel a bit better. I lather up my washcloth and start to rub my body all over. Just the feeling of rubbing the soap and washcloth against my skin was pure ecstasy. I knew I was doing the right thing. I get my hair lathered up from the shampoo and then it hits me. “Tommie you have to rinse off.”

Oh God.

For a brief second I seriously thought to myself I wonder if lathering up is good enough? Well that would be like quitting and I’m no quitter dammit! Now I’m having a conversation with myself to psyche myself up.

Me- you ready dawg?

Me- Yeah, let’s do this!

Me- Ok, on the count of 3 we are going to turn this bad bitch on.

Me- Ok, let’s go!

Me- 1…2…

Me- Wait, wait, wait is it 1,2,3, go or is it go on 3?

Me- Ummm, I don’t know. Go on 3. Dude, why are you stalling? You are acting like a real bitch right now.

Me- But, it’s so cold.

Me- Dude, I know that! Hey, why am I talking to myself?

Me- I dunno?

I turn the shower back on and it has to be a good 5 degrees colder that it was when I lathered up. I’m thinking did they replace the water with liquid nitrogen? I tried not to focus on the cold by focusing on how dirty I really was. There was much comfort in watching the soap and dirt glide off my body. Finally the all the soap and dirt is off my body and out of my hair and I can get outta here. I quickly dry off slide my shorts back on, pull my t-shirt over my head and walk back to the room to get dressed. Oh that was a horrid walk as soon as I hit the door I felt the remaining water on my body freeze up. But, I tell you what. I’ll gladly risk pneumonia every day of the week for that clean feeling I felt.