From the Peanut gallery - 04/07/2005

After a long hiatus the Peanut Gallery is back -

Q: Where did the Peanut Gallery go? The Peanut Gallery is my favorite part of your blog.

A:
Well two things have happened. One, I have been on the road a lot. I have been given a lot more responsibility. Two, I haven’t gotten as many questions and comments as I used to which is a good thing because I have less time to answer it now. I still love your emails so keep them coming it makes the days go by.

Q:
When are you coming home?

A:
Soon, the exact date is classified, well the amount of time I have left here isn’t classified but travel dates and routes are classified. Since I move via the grace of the USMC I honor their restrictions on speaking on travel.

Q:
I see you have a gun.

A:
I don’t see a gun.

Q:
In that picture there is a gun behind you.

A:
I don’t see a gun behind me.

Q:
Well, what is that black thing behind you?

A:
Do you mean that rifle? That is a rifle not a gun. As far as it being mine, do your part for America and ask any Solider, Sailor, or Marine if that is my rifle and they will all say no. Then ask them why.

Quite frankly I don’t see the need for me to have a weapon. I know you all back at home find that an odd thing to say from someone in the dead center of a war zone let me explain. If I were going to get harmed by anything it would come from being a rocket or a mortar. This isn’t Contra, I’m not going to shoot a rocket out of the sky with a M-16 set to a 3 round burst.

On top of that I don’t have a hard-on for guns and rifles. Holding a gun doesn’t make me feel big or strong. I realize that no matter how cool movies make guns look; in real life they are designed to violently remove the fleshy connecty parts that make the human body operate. Once you realize that you hold a device that controls life or death you take (or should take) that responsibility seriously.

Also I don’t believe that any yahoo should get a gun, not out here at least. I mean if all the civilians who are 1) untrained and 2) Not bound by the Geneva Convention are armed then you have the possibility of mass chaos or mass calamity. I’m a supporter of arming only the necessary personnel. Hell, could you imagine the firestorm if some clown had an accidental discharge and harmed another person?

Finally, not having a gun doesn’t mean I don’t know how to operate one. If there is ever a situation where I would NEED to use one I’m sure there would be one readily available on the ground locked and loaded.


Q:
What is the first thing you are going to do when you get home?

A:
You know that’s a damn good question. I have no clue, I never really thought about it I mean I know I want to see my folks and all that jazz the first thing however I don’t know. Heck, my first thing is find a way home, my whole Iraqi trip was based on the fact that T-Money was going to come and pick me up from the airport but, that bastard up and moved on me. So, finding a way home will be the first thing I’ll do. But, I think probably sleep getting a good night’s rest in my own home and just decompress will be the first thing I do. I know I won’t be able to face the world right off the bat. I’ll probably get a haircut, facial, and pedicure. I’ll pamper myself for a second.

Q:
What would you say is the most significant change you have made? A change you have noticed and welcome.

A:
This is another good question. There are two things that I think have the same billing. The first one would be that I have reconnected with people from my past that I grown away from and speak more with my family and friends. I think my communications are more meaningful and I’m more grateful to the people who email me and send me packages. The second thing is that I have increased my skill set more in the past t months than I have in 6 years of being out of school (or is it 7 now)? Technically I’m a qualified diesel mechanic and Cisco certified when I go back home I’ll have to get the “paper” to make it all official. I’ve been to Iraq, how hard can anything else be?

In closing I welcome the growth that I have gained in the past 5 months.

Q:
Do you miss me?

A:
Everyday, Honey. Everyday.

Q:
Is it cool knowing classified information?

A:
Only to people that don’t have a clearance. To be honest with you I don’t really care about the information. When I say I don’t care I mean it is not interesting to me; it’s part of the job. No more, no less. What is important to me is that my customer can get the data in the way they want and at the time they want. I’m more concerned about the availability of the data more than I am the content. I try to spend as little time around classified information as possible.

Q:
I think it’s great that you are able help your family out, it seems like you really made something of yourself, from the surroundings you came from.

A:
Surroundings I came from, huh? My surroundings were upper middle class America. This comment is really a combination of several similar comments. For some reason people think I came from the ghetto or something like that. I’m from the heart of suburbia. My parents bought all my cars for me up until about the year 2000 (When I was 26). I’ve lived a pampered life. My life story would be better told by John Hughes than John Singleton. This is a good time for me to put out my life story so you all can see how this runs full circle. Actually, I’ve been working on this for a bit. A friend of mine Sara asked me a few questions that ended up giving me the idea for the Peanut Gallery and one of the questions she asked was if I had high school to do over again would I. Well, I got to thinking about high school and I ended up writing almost all of it but I stuffed it away. With this comment I’ve decided to fix it up so I can post it.

Days like these...

I just got an email from my Mom telling me to hit her back. First off my Mom's emails are usually more flowing and she never uses slang like 'hit me back' so I knew something was wrong. I can call to the states everyday if I want to but I try not to becasue I don't want to get on a schedule. But, something told me something was wrong so I need to call home. So I called my Mom and braced for the worse, I could hear the relief in her voice when she picked up the phone. She asked me if I was ok and I said yes. She said my Dad heard there was a helicopter crash all he saw was helicopter, crash, dead, civilians and he thought of me. What he missed was Afghanistan. After I got off the phone with my Mom I called my Dad and I could hear his relief we chatted for a while and then he had a customer come in and he had to go.

Often times out here I forget that I have a life back in the "World" and that people that are still terribly worried about my safety and just the mention of harm sent them into a panic. I'm sure their stress was shared by about another 200,000 parents all across the US. That exchange was just so poignant to me, I was so worried about them and while the phone calls help there is nothing like physical contact to let you know everything is ok. My Dad's worry is just under the surface like that I suspect that's how it is for families back in the "World". Iraq is much more dangerous in the news, that's not to say it's not a dangerous place and that I don't have a dangerous job but, for me it's not as dangerous as the news at home makes it out to be. Even at that it's days like these that I wish I wasn't here so they didn't have to worry like that.

But, they are parents they are going to worry wherever I am. That's what parents do.

I'm feeling romantic

I'm just in a real romantic mood right now, I don't know what came over me. I just want to be romantic with myself (not in that way, silly) I just came back from the store I picked up some Dave Hollister, some Angie Stone, some Syleena Johnson, some Jill Scott, some Al Jarreau (what you know about that Al Jarreau Youngblood?) and of course I had to get that Ultimate Isley Brothers. Got those CD, ripped them to MP3, kicked my feet up on a cot in the office and then I just let the sounds take me away.

Maybe it's just me but sometimes I just get in a mood to just hear that sound. What I like about those artists is that they sing to the listener. Alot of these new style R&B singers are a bunch of wanna-be-thugs. I don't need 'hip' in my singers I need someone that can talk straight to the listener. A singer that makes you feel like you are in that situation or Syleena Johnson is real good at that. But, all these artists they really relaxed me and put me in a mood. What people don't know is that in real life I'm a romantic motherfucker but my mind has to be clear for me to think that no job, no school, no bills, no worries.

For a moment I saw myself back at my house, tunes bumping softly in the background, pitch black with just a single candle in the room that makes just enough light to make the shadows dance eroticlly in the corners. A clear moonless night sky with the stars reflecting of the pond in the backyard and there I am chillin' in my favorite chair shoes off sipping on some cognac just letting the vibe flow.

That's romantic.

The Old Negro Space Program

More evidence of the conspiriacy to keep the Black man down.

http://www.negrospaceprogram.com/

So you want to be lead Tommie? Here is your handbasket , welcome to your first day.

Well, the other day I sent Ken off for his R&R and I was heading back to our base camp for my two weeks R&R. Well today has been nothing short of a day in Hell. Everything that has could go wrong did. I can't discuss what is going on due to OPSEC but, just know that you don't want these things to happen when you are fully staffed let alone when you are running a one man show. I have been back and forth to the command center putting out fires. The thing that is the problem (well for me at least) is that we have a new sherriff in town and the new sherriff has no love for civilaians in the command center. Even civilians that DESIGNED the command center, this wasn't a problme with the old sherriff the realized that I am here to help. The funny thing is that I have a higher clearance than 90% of the Marine Corps. When I got my clearance the President called me to to tell me where we store the aliens. On top of that there aren't many communications systems that have been deployed in the last 6 years that don't have my fingerprint on them somewhere. I've been tempted on several occasions to fire back at one of the guys, "Do you even have the clearance to ask me what my clearnace is?"

But, they have guns. It seems that some sentrys have ADD or blew their short term memory on a weed binge or something. I'll leave the command center and come back like 5 minutes later and they ask me who I am and who I'm here to see so then I have to wait outside the gate for 30 minutes while they find someone to escort me in the command center, never mind I've been in the command center for going on 6 months. Then on top of that the people that summoned for me ask me what took me so long. I'm thinking "Hell you want me in you come get me so I can have a Marine hold my hand on the way in."

At anyrate, I was in the Command Center today for a good little bit and I got everything up and running as well as handle some issues at another site that needed to be handled. So all and all I'm good to go. I survived my trial by fire and as always bigger, stronger, better, faster. Call me the Bionic Negro.

Rogue's Gallery: 00012 Captian Dynamo

Capt. Dynamo is project manager for the project I'm working on. As far as I'm concerned the sun rises and falls at his whim, he is the client. Well the first thing you notice about him is that he looks so young. The funny thing about the military is that relatively young guys run it. You see a Major and you'll ask how long he has been in and he'll say 18 years then you ask him how old he is and he'll say I'll be 7 and a half next month.

Capt. Dynamo is on point he has a young family that he left back in DC he talks to his boys constantly, like I said it’s hard being out here if you have young ones behind, but I like the fact that this Man makes sure that he can be there for his family. Another wild thing is that his Mother lives off of the same street as my parents. Once everything gets settled I'll try and insure that they get a chance to meet. That's on the back burner business first.

Well, at any rate the guy graduated for Howard so once he found out I went to Tennessee State University it didn't take long for us to establish that we play for the same team. The association we have is great for getting your foot in the door; membership has its privileges. All of us in the “club” know if you can survive financial aid at a HBCU then you deserve a degree in something.

The other thing you will notice about him is that he has an ego and I mean a major ego. As far as I'm concerned this is not to be unexpected. But, I can see how his style can be abrasive to older white folks; no one likes an uppity young Negro. But, see I understand it because he is I and I am he. Every college educated Black man that I know has an ego and that ego MUST be appeased. And I'll bet you my last dollar that you can double that ego for any Black man that graduated from and HBCU. I have seen some Black dudes that look like a mix between a turtle and a baboon with the personality of an African Lungfish. With that paper in their hand they will strut around they are God's gift to women. Now then put that same confidence in someone who is attractive, a sharp dresser, or charming (God forbid all three) and then you have some real trouble. T-Dog, T-Rizzoy from the A-Town, Meechie Hustle, Chedda, Kerseywater, T-Money, and Spellmore have it just to name a few I fall in line myself.

The reason for this is simple as a Black man you learn quick fast and a hurry that the world is against you and society expects to fail, when you succeed society fails. Don't want to be a father to your children? Way to go! Want to sell drugs instead of work to the best of your abilities and strive to be more than a poison peddler? Hey, gold star for you! Want to live beyond your means and have nothing for yourself and your children in your later years. Great job darky! For the Black man wallowing in failure is success. On top of that Black boys have the highest child mortality rate, highest incarceration rate, one of the highest drop out rates lowest life span (the Black man reaches middle age at 28 or so), least amount in savings, least amount capital and basically the least chance to make anything of themselves, even when you pass those roadblocks you are still questioned if you are there because of affirmative action or some quota, we live with the albatross that is no mater how good or skilled we are we are never and will never be equal. I know some people hate the fact that they had a 450 year head start and I still will beat the them to finish line. That being said when you look back and see that there wasn't a roadblock or a man alive that could stop you from achieving your goals. It empowers you; even with me writing this you still can't feel it you have to be it. Many people don't like the way we move or how we act but it is what it is. The way I see it you don’t have to, you don't like they way I act you can pound sand and your buddy can kick rocks. This is what success looks like, get used to it.

Any rate that was an aside that went further than I expected it to. Back to the Captain like I said he is a young guy that is at the top of his game. His highsiding and grandiose is part of his nature as a result his style runs directly counter to Shen Long. Shen is what you would think of when you think of an engineer, technically he is the top of the top but socially he has a way to go. They have been going at it back and forth trying to assert their dominance. It is irrelevant to me as long as they keep passing me checks I can keep both of them happy. I can serve two masters and not blink an eye. I like the Captain myself I find it humorous how he hands out massive ownings. Part of the reason I've moved up in the ranks is because he is impressed with my work ethic (which always comes first). From my point of view it's nice to have someone at the top that I can go to for information and he is open to the improvements that I have suggested in improving how we work with the Marines and how the Marines work with us. The thing I notice about him is he is an "Ends Justify the Means" type of guy. Give him results at any costs; I've been fortunate that I've been able to work in that capacity. I'd rather not be on the other side he is someone that I have noticed has no problem bringing to bear his rank and weight of his position to let you know that you are out of order.

I'm King of the South!

Well I'm moving up in the world. I am now the Area Lead Field Engineer, Shen is nearing the end of his 2nd tour and he is heading back state side. As a result Ken is moving to the position of Lead Field Engineer and I am the area lead for all the units in the southern part of the Marines operating area. It is a lot of responsibility, and a lot more travel. It seems I'm in the air more than I'm on the ground. The good thing is Ken and I have a good working relationship so I know where he is going and what he want's to do. So I work well with him, if you can picture a Dwayne Wade Shaq relationship that's kinda how we work. One of the reasons I haven't been posting as much as I used to is becasue I'm in the field more than I used to be. Acutally I'm between fires right now and I just wanted to shoot out a few posts before I headed back to work. Hopefully, I'll have time for a few Rogue's and Peanut galleries.

Blisters

Man, I've been humping the last few days/weeks and everywhere I go I am usually carrying about 50 to 80 pounds of gear (probably more if I include my flack jacket) but, my feet are killing me. I have the worst case of blisters on the top of my toes. If there was one day I wanted to lay back and take a bath it would be today (or some other day like today).