Ok now this is the funniest site on the internet.

www.bash.org it is logs from people's IRC (Internet Relay Chat) some of this stuff is too funny. This is the perfect time killer (not that I'm doing that I'm just saying)

Here are a few of my favorites:

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<@malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

<@myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we hear... i probally just ignored it
<@joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<@myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on that topic.
<@joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<@joshua> *appologies?
<@joshua> soemthing like that
<@joshua> fuck it
<@joshua> i'm an american
<@joshua> i don't have to spell

<@guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<@thexphial> vaccuums
<@guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<@thexphial> black holes
<@guo_si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<@thexphial> lava?

<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that

<-LordChewy> so my dad found my porn folder
<-LordChewy> and he was getting all pissed
<-LordChewy> so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know"
<-LordChewy> "i know dad"
<-LordChewy> "what do you have to say for yourself?"
<-LordChewy> at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:\Documents and SettingsRickyMy Documentsfaxessent faxes"
<-LordChewy> and he just shut up
<-kingKahn> what is it?
<-LordChewy> its his porn folder

<@casey8> Diana Ross' husband died
<@tarrier> how
<@casey8> fell while climbing in South Africa or something
<@jennaway> that's sad
<@bubbaprog> i guess there is a mountain high enough

From the Peanut gallery - 02/23/2005

Q:
Where is the Peanut Gallery?

A:
Well, I only like to post a Peanut Gallery when I get enough questions to make it worthwhile. Last week I didn't get any questions. The more questions you all ask the more often the PG will show up.

Q:
Don't you just loooooove your friends?

A:
Yep.


Q:
Hey, I Want to send you a book what kind of books do you like.

A:
Honestly, I don't care. Right now I'm on a religious history kick. But, I'll read anything economic theory, politics, fiction, non-fiction, romance, mystery it doesn't matter. If there is a book that you are fond of then let me know and I'll pick it up.


Q:
I can't believe T-Money is gone, when you get back are you going to Jersey with him?

A:
What? We are best friends, not dating. Naw the Hustleman doesn't fucks with the cool weather. I may move true enough but, you best believe it won't be anywhere cold.

Q:
Why don't you take a photo of all the people in your Rogue's gallery so we can put faces to everyone.

A:
That would be a nice idea but, I wouldn't do that for two reasons.

1. They don't know about the blog (or if they do they haven't let on) I would ask permission from them if I wanted to use their pictures. I have pictures of them but, I wouldn't send it out.


2. This is a war zone, I don't wan't people's faces floating around on the internet in a way that could be used against them, us, or their familes. Maybe one day when we all make it out of here but, not before then.

Q:
Tommie Hustle you say you are sexy. What are you slanging between your legs?

A:
O_O What?

Wow, just wow. The internet was created for situations just like these.

Q:
You just need to be more romantic and then you would like Valentine's Day.

A:
Ok.

*starts thinking in French*

Hey look at me everybody I'm romantic!

Conjecture Ce qui ? Le jour de Valentine suce toujours.

Q:
How tall are you?

A:
69 in/175cm


Q:
What does CB mean?

A:
CockBlocking, this one was funny, I got an email from a nice lady who told me this wholesome story about how she is Mom to three young boys. It took me a while to anwser that one. I didn't know how exactly to approach that one.


Q:
Do you know how many hits you get?

A:
Not really, one of the reasons I have the google ads and counter is so I can get a rough idea of how many hits I get a day. I've seen as many as 300 hits on a day but, I suspect that I get between 50 to 75 unique hits a day. I don't really keep track becasue the intent of this site was not to get hits. I never really thought of it getting as big as it has. I just sent the link out to a few friends, co-workers, and family. I never could have concieved that I would get email from all over the world.

Q:
What is one thing you have learned while out there.

A:
You, can't hide. People think that the internet provides anomynity. It doesn't. I have met people from the blog that I have never seen before in life and I find out that they know people from my past that I haven't talked to in over a decade. They just found the blog by happenstance its crazy.

Q:
Have you met anyone there?

A:
I get this one every now and again, and it kills me all the time. No, I haven't met anyone and I'm not looking. Here's the deal, I'm a professional and I'm at work all the time. At the very least, I should be able to maintain the standards the the Marines must maintain. I mean if I wanted to go around chasing skirt I surely could. Their is no law against it however to me doing that would undermine my credibility. My credibility is far more important than an hour or two with someone I probably won't speak to once I get out of here. Not saying that it is impossible to find someone out here and we fall in love and then we get married and have little half-Marine/half-Geek children but, it's not on my agenda. Besides I lived in Pheonix, I know how to go for long periods without sex.

Q:
Have you ever had dread-locks?

A:
No, I'll proabably get twists in the near future just to see how it looks.

Q: What is your fantasy?

A: Hmmmm, sexually or non-sexually.

Sexually, I don't have fantasies just needs.

Non-sexually, I would guess that would be for my family and friends to not have to worry about petty things like money.

Q:
What is Trillian

A:
Trillian chat client that supports AIM, ICQ, MSN, Yahoo Messenger, and IRC.
It provides capabilities not possible with original network clients, while
supporting standard features such as audio chat, file transfers, group
chats, chat rooms, buddy icons, multiple simultaneous connections to
the same network, server-side contact importing, typing notification,
direct connection (AIM), proxy support, encrypted messaging (AIM/ICQ),
SMS support, and privacy settings and without stealing your home page and
with no other included software, pop-ups, or spyware.

Quite honestly if you aren't using Trillian and Firefox as a web browser (Tabbed browsing 'nuff said) you might well put your SSN and CC numbers on a billboard then set fire to your hard drive once a week.


Here are some corrrections and extensions to my Ashura post-

I said -

This Iraqi on Iraqi violence goes beyond Saddam or control of Iraq. This cuts right to the heart of Islam. What we are witnessing is not a fight for control of Iraq but, for control of Islam. This is a battle for the ghosts of Hussein and Yazid.

Azih said - Not really.

Shias and Sunnis don't care about converting each other. There's no real struggle for Islam in the sense of doctrine as there's no disagreement between Sunnis and Shias on the core concepts of Islam. Shias just tack on the idea that the family of the Prophet (staring with Ali and going through Hussien and onwards) have special prominence. There are also some cosmetic differences (Shias break fasts 15 minues later, Shias pray with arms open not crossed across chest.. some other misc things).

The Sunni on Shia violence and animosity has different roots. In Iraq, Saddam had roots in the Sunni community, that was his power base and he ruthlessly put down anybody who wasn't a part of that base (Kurds, Shias, Marsh Arabs). So there's a ton of suspicion on both sides as Shias suffered terribly under Saddam, The crazies that long for Saddam back are really very unhappy with Shias flexing their muscles as the largest population in Iraq. The non crazy Sunnis are apprehensive because Shias might take revenge.

In other parts of the world Sunni on Shia violence is sparked by extremist Sunnis (read: Al-Qaeda/Taliban types) that are extremely fundamentalist and really hate anybody whose practice of Islam is different from theires. Shias are target #1 really. This happens most often in Pakistan where Shias are a significant minority (30% of population). This also explains why Bin Laden and the Iranian mullahs absolutely hate each other.

At the base of it these problems happen because Shias are a sepearate community, and any time there are differences people fight. In Iraq this led to political persecution, in Pakistan it's religious persecution.

What I meant was -

I wasn't saying that they were concerned about converting each other what I am trying to express is that at the end of the day the two sects are at the core still trying to say that their way is the "true" will of the Prophet Mohammed.

What I said was -

To Westeners we see the willful ending of our lives (suicide) as a one way ticket to hell. Muslims that subscribe to the concept of Martyrdom don't see it as suicide they see it as statement it is the ultimate sacrifice in the fight against injustice, oppression and tyranny. To them it is a noble act. But, with all belief systems when people are inspired by a demagoge corruption of the message is not far behind. Demagogery creates homocide bombers not martyrs.

Azih said - Not really

Suicide bombers started in the muslim world pretty much with Palestenians in the early 90s, Palestenians aren't Shias. Also you should note that in Iraq, the suicide bombing is most probably carried out by rebels in the Sunni triangle, not Shias. Sunni Muslims aren't inspired by the massarce of Hussien's followers at all. Shia extremism in Iraq takes the form of things like the Al-Mahdi army.

I stand corrected. Thanks to Azih for adding that bit of information.

Went back and did some editing.

You know something funny, I never read my own blog entries. The only time I do is when I go back to anwser someone's comment. This weekend I went back through most of my entries to do spell checking and edit some content.

I have to say I'm shocked that you all have kept reading as long as you have or you all are mind readers who can get what I'm thinking. I read some of my posts and was like WTF was I thinking.

At anyrate I would urge you all to go back an re-read some of my posts I think I make sense now. Also if you pass this blog around to someone else or if you link it do so from October. This blog should read like a conversation and you get more out of it if you read from the very beginning.

If you haven't read from the beginning I think now would be an excellent time to go back and see how I got from there to here. Interesting journey.

Anyone want a Google Mail account?

I have 30 or 40 to give away. Shoot me an email.

Why would you want a G-Mail account?

1. It has 1000Mb of space that is 4 times the amount of Yahoo or Hotmail. Since I have been here I have gotten over 356Mb of email. That's over 100Mb a month! With any other serivice I would have had to delete some of my messages.
   
2. It's invite only. Who doesn't want to be in the club?
   

So shoot me an email if you are interested.

PS: Use Firefox.

www.Baconwhores.com. Yes, baconwhores, that's what I said too.

http://www.baconwhores.com/index.html

This is probably the second funniest thing I have seen on God's Digital Internet.

























and this is the first






This post is bishoptl and Lemurnator approved

Damn, I need a pick.

Man I can't wait till my pick gets here. My hair is so thick that I can only comb it when I'm in the shower. I can't even comb through this mess with my comb. Right now my head is like kryptonite to hair care products. My head looks so bad that I don't even like to walk past mirrors. It looks like a black Q-tip. When I pick this forest out I suspect that my hair will probably be 3in/8cm long and if I had a blow out kit I could probably double or triple that length.


Afro-licious!

Maybe I shouldn't have had the French Toast.

One thing that I have learned around here is that you eat when you can, sleep when you can, and shower when you can. You never know if that may be your last chance to do that for a while. Well, Javier and I were on our way back to his base (we work at two different bases) I had gotten up early that morning and one of the Marines at the outpost we were at acquired some chow. He said he got an extra plate for me since I was up. I open the tin foil and it's scrambled eggs and French toast.

I'm not much of a breakfast guy and on top of that I'm not fond of eggs and French toast but, I knew that we were going to be flying out today and when you fly you never know when you are going to go or how long you are going to be in the air. Unlike most flights they don't have a meal service. So I said let me eat right now and I'll be ok.

BAD, BAD, VERY BAD IDEA our bird arrives and it is a CH-53 usually I fly in a CH-46. The reason I say this is because 46s have more ventilation than 53s. So we hop on the bird Javier and I find a nice spot to the back of the bird everything looks like it will be on easy street. After we take off the first thing I notice is that it is really hot (I haven't realized that we have been banking almost the whole time we have been in the air). Well next thing I know this pilot starts hitting evasive maneuvers, they do that from time to time to be less of a target or when they get into a "free zone" they can maneuver freely. Me personally I think they are some sadistic bastards and want to see how long it will take for someone to puke. I know that's probably what I would do if I was the pilot. Think of being on one of those rides like the Flying Dutchman. So this bird is rotating 90° and the guy that was straight ahead of me is now 10ft/3m down from me then banking then rotating 180° from where it was. Now the guy that was 10ft/3m down from me is now 10ft/3m on top of me. Next thing you know you I'm hot as hell and my stomach is bubbling like a son of a bitch. My eyes roll in the back of my head my throat starts undulating as if it wants to let it all lose and on top of that my sphincter starts to quiver. I am in a bad spot and there is nowhere to go. I look around and I see that I'm not the only one everyone’s face has gone pale. Everyone on the bird is about to start throwing up. I added a new reason to talk to God which is God, please don't let me throw up and crap on myself at the same time. The worst part is that you are covered in body armor and you are shoulder to shoulder so you can't move.

This went on for maybe 10 to 15 minutes I mean we are going back and forth, up and down. I'm quite sure it looked really cool outside but, from in the bird it was horrible, on top of that people start farting all over the place and because there isn't much ventilation we got farts hanging in the air, which made me even more sick. I almost thought I was going to lose it but, then the bird started to right itself, if I were Catholic I'd thank the patron saint of helicopters. I can tell you have never seen a scramble like the one we did to get off that thing. I didn't blow chunks but I only ate crackers for the rest of the day.

Rogue's Gallery: 00011 Sergeant Twitches

I met Twitches a few weeks back when Javier and I were out on travel making house calls. This guy is the kind of Marine that I dreaded meeting up with. I mean he was a nice and pleasant guy and all but, he is one of those guys that believe in the Corps 110% and that the Marine way is the best and only way. As I have said that's a real good thought to have when taking a hill but when configuring a server a little advice here and there won't hurt. One thing that kinda sucks about this job is that you have to really dig for answers when it comes to tech support. I mean no Corporal is going to question a Colonel when the man says

"I pulled the plug and it just stopped working."

As it is in the real world people are don't like to say that they think they messed something up when it comes to computers. It's just harder to get to the root cause around here.

I call him Twitches because the guy's life basically revolves around him scheduling meetings to get his ass chewed out by officers or as the Marines like to call it "motivated". When we got there the guy was literally a nervous wreck. We showed up, as he had just gotten "motivated". You remember when you were a kid and you were at your friend’s house when his Mom decided now was the time to go off on your buddy when you two were playing. Your buddy’s Mom is going off an you are just stuck there wishing you could be anywhere but, there but, you don’t dare move just in case. Yeah, same feeling.

The system was a wreck and was in need of some serious PMS (Preventative Maintenance Servicing) had we been contacted earlier the system would not have been in the state it was in but, like I said he felt he could do it all himself. Truth is told he would have been able to if we showed him how to do it once.

His major problem was that he needed some data cables that we had to deliver. They had their own cables but had lost them he tried to figure out a work around to getting the data he needed without the cable. Well besides wasting time he made people in the need very angry. You should have seen the guy, when Javier handed him the cable he cradled it like you would a newborn baby. I don't think he was conscious of that movement. Javier and I however both saw it and we shared an "I think we just saved this guy's sanity" look.

Maybe I should invest in some earplugs.

For some strange reason I'm always the guy sitting next to the gunner. I don't know how this happens. Well if you have ever been on a helicopter then you know these things are very loud. Those rotors make a lot of noise and they drown out any other noise around. You can't really hear anything but the rotors. If someone is screaming at you at the top of their lungs it only makes it to you as a whisper. For the most part you the sound becomes white noise and you don't even notice it for me I usually go to sleep and I don't wake up until the bird lands. However there is one sound that drowns out the sound of the blades and that is the sound of the gunners racking the .50 cal back. Then I realized why I'm the sucker that's all ways by the gunner. If he has to let loose with that thing you can kiss your eardrums goodbye. That's all she wrote for your hearing on top of that you will be the recipient of hot shell casings to the face and body. Next time I get on a bird I'm going to try and get on in the back or invest in earplugs.

This is probably TMI: Too Much Information.

I just finished up my first bar of soap. I've been using the same bar of soap since December 6th and it finally became too small to use.

Ashura

Ashura falls on the 10th day of Muharram and is marked by Muslims all over the world by a day of fasting in order to commemorate the day Noah left the Ark, and the day that Moses was saved from the Egyptians by God. For Shia Muslims this is a particularly solemn day mourning the death of Hussein, a grandson of the Prophet Mohammad in 680 AD at Karbala in modern-day Iraq. This holiday is very signifigant in the evoloution of the Muslim religon it is where the schism the Shia and Sunni sects began.

I guess before I continue I should explain to my readers how the Muslim calender works. We, in the West, use the Gregorian Calender (Jan - Dec). The Gregorian calender that we use was created by Pope Gregory XIII. in 1582, primairly to align the the civil year with the solar, and also the regulation of the time of Easter. The Gregorian calender is fixed which means Christmas (December 25) will always occur in the winter time in the northern hemisphere (it occurs in the summer in the Southern hemisphere) and Easter will always occur in the spring time (it occurs in the fall in the Southern hemisphere).

The Islamic or Hijri calender has twelve months similar to the Gregorian calendar these months are -

1. Muharram


2. Safar


3. Rabi` Awwal


4. Rabi` Thani


5. Jumada Awwal


6. Jumada Thani


7. Rajab


8. Sha`ban


9. Ramadan


10. Shawwal


11. Dhul-Qi`dah


12. Dhul-Hijjah.

However, unlike the Gregorian calandar where every month has between 28-31 days the Hijri calandar is fluid and has either 29 or 30 days depending on the start of the new moon. A fact some may find odd is that a new day via the Hijri calander is at sunset as opposed to the Gregorian calendar where sunrise determins a new day. As a result of months being determined by a new Moon the Hijri calendar has 10 less days than the Gregorian calendar and the months "shift" and can exist in every season. Ramadan is just as likely to happen in the Summer time as it can in the Winter time. Due to all the shifting based on the moons it takes about 33 years for the Islamic dates to rotate through the solar seasons.

Now then back to Ashura, as I said Shia celebrated this day with mourning rituals and passionate plays re-enacting the death of Hussein.

Shia men and women dressed in black also parade through the streets slapping their chests and chanting.

Some Shia men seek to emulate the suffering of Hussein by flagellating themselves with chains or cutting their heads with swords, knives, and scimitars until blood streams from their bodies. I'm sure some of you have seen these displays on TV and it is highly disturbuing (much like sects of Christian snake handlers)these men are literally covered with blood that streams from their heads.

In recent times Shia leaders and groups have spoken out discouraging the bloodletting, saying it creates a backward and negative image of Shia Muslims (Ya think?). Such leaders encourage people to donate blood.

Now then why is Ashura so signfigant? It is a rough equlivant to Martin Luther and his proclimation at the doors of the Church sparking the Protestant Reformation which probably ranks behind the birth of Jesus and the formation of the Catholic church as the most signifant events in Christian history.

As I said earlier the killing of Hussein was an event that led to the split in Islam into two main sects - Sunnis and Shias.

In early Islamic history the Shia were a political faction that supported Ali, son-in-law of the Prophet Mohammed and the fourth caliph (temporal and spiritual ruler) of the Muslim community.

Ali was murdered in AD 661 and his chief opponent, Muawiya, became caliph. It was Ali's death that led to the great schism between Sunnis and Shias.

Caliph Muawiya was later succeeded by his son Yazid, but Ali's son Hussein refused to accept his legitimacy and fighting between the two resulted.

Hussein and his followers were massacred in battle near Karbala in AD 680.

Both Ali's and Hussein's deaths gave rise to the Shia cult of martyrdom, and to their sense of betrayal and struggle against injustice, oppression and tyranny.

Today, the Shias make up about 15% of the total worldwide Muslim population.

Now then this moment in history gives us two important concepts that we have to deal with today.

1. The concept of martyrdom.
To Westeners we see the willful ending of our lives (suicide) as a one way ticket to hell. Muslims that subscribe to the concept of Martyrdom don't see it as suicide they see it as statement it is the ultimate sacrifice in the fight against injustice, oppression and tyranny. To them it is a noble act. But, with all belief systems when people are inspired by a demagog corruption of the message is not far behind. Demagogery creates homocide bombers not martyrs.

2. What is at the heart of the insurgent attacks in Iraq.
This Iraqi on Iraqi violence goes beyond Saddam or control of Iraq. This cuts right to the heart of Islam. What we are witnessing is not a fight for control of Iraq but, for control of Islam. This is a battle for the ghosts of Hussein and Yazid.

It's too bad really you can look at any crackhead and see what happens to someone when they are intent on chasing ghosts.

At anyrate today's Ashura celebration was peppered with violence in Baghdad which is to be expected due to the fact that Baghdad is still populated with Sunnis. In Karbala,the heart and soul of the celebration, however there were no acts of violence commited against Shia celebrators (aside from them maiming themselves) which means that the insurgents were either unwilling or unable to cordinate and attack against the Shia there. That in itself is a victory for the Iraqi security forces, people, and the US military. It looks like little by litte they are getting the job done.

Rogue's Gallery: 00010 The Fixer

The Fixer is the second Iraqi that I have ever spoken to. Amazingly enough his real is the Fixer. He has a real name but he says that Westerners can’t don’t have the skills to pronounce it, so he prefers for Westerners to call him Fixer. He is one of those smarmy types that you find in the swap meet wearing dirty tracksuits and ostentatious gold chains. Well he is the guy that “leases” vehicles to people at some of the sites. When you gpo by his site you probably feel like you are in some movie where the dope deal was about to go down. It has a very illegal, dirty, and dangerous feel to it. On top of that the guy begins and ends every sentence with "My friend" and seemed to love physical contact as if he was about to tell you he's one man short of the perfect plan and you are just the guy.

It’s a dangerous job for him and his people because he has to actually get the cars from one spot in Iraq to the next. He just recently had a worker to pick up an SUV out of Baghdad and drive it to one of the bases. That was two months ago he hasn’t seen the truck or heard from the driver since. Due to realites such as that you have to pay a premium on these vehicles.

We have a Nissan pickup truck that has no heat (how that is I don’t know) a cracked windshield, no air, it barely starts, it has all sorts of dents and dings. It is a textbook hooptie. A rapper called Devin the Dude has a song called Lacville ’79 that explains the condition the truck is in perfectly. Honestly the truck is probably worth 1000.00. We pay 1500.00 a month. You want something brand new off the lot like a 2003 or 2004 Tahoe or a Suburban with all the bells and whistles? It will run you 4000.00 a month.

Oh yeah, he only deals in American cash.

Mail Call

Wow, on the flip side of mail. I had someone send a package on the 7th of Feburary and it got here today. That's good for mail stateside.