From the Peanut gallery - 01/28/2005

Welcome to this week’s Peanut Gallery I wanted to get it out earlier but I got a flurry of emails this week. I have to say a big thank you to Mommy Hustle. I don’t know if there was a dry eye on the ENTIRE planet. I think everyone who read your letter called their Mom to tell them they loved her. It was a powerful letter and that’s why I shared it so thanks.

Q:
It must be stressful living under the conditions you do,

A:
For me, not really I was stressed when I first came out here but not now. Stress is a relative term and I feel more comfortable today than I did when I came out here.

Q:
You write pretty well...that may be a secret talent, you know.

A:
Thanks, it is not really a secret talent. I do it all the time. It is just I'm not public about it. Most of the things I really like to do like draw, write, read, and think about the world are private affairs. These things aren't consistent with the "kicking it" lifestyle people like to think I lead. The people at Club Central aren't looking to hook up with someone who wants to talk about his thesis about the Importation of American Hegemony to the Middle East and its impact on the native culture.

Q:
What do you think happens when you die?

A:
I think you just die. I don't know I've never really thought about the after part too much. I'm not sure you grow wings and play a harp for eternity. That sure isn't heaven to me. Nor do you boil in a pot of flames forever either.

Q:
Do you believe in God?

A:
Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't it depends on the day. Most times I do but I only talk to him on 6 occasions.

1. When I'm writing a check.
"Please God, don't let this bounce."

2. When I think I'm going to get some action.
"Please God, make her take off her clothes."

3. When I think I'm going to get caught.
"Please God, don't let her notice the perfume and glitter. DAMN you glitter why won't you come off."

4. When I think I'm going to die.
"Please God, don't let this asshole kill me."

5. When I think I'm going to kill someone.
"Please God, don't let me kill this asshole."

6. And of course
"God, if you let me live through this, I swear I'll NEVER drink again."


Other than that God and I have a live and let live relationship. I know he is busy keeping all of reality together at a subatomic level through his sheer force of will alone. That HAS to be time consuming. I know gets busy with that so I don't bother him too much. Pretty much I let him keep all of reality in place and he lets me get to the bar for 2 for 1 drinks and hit on skeezers. If he needs me he'll call and if I need him I'll call. I don't get upset if he doesn't pick up I know he's a busy man.

Q:
Do you go to Church?

A:
No, one thing EVERYONE knows about me is that I'm physically repulsed by the idea of entering a Church. Not that I think it's a bad thing, it’s just not my thing. I see Church for what it is, a place where people with similar religious views go together to fellowship. That's not a bad thing. I'm just not down with the dogma that can go along with it. I think humans got it wrong about how God works and I prefer not to be talked down to. I've learned more about Christianity from reading on my own and living. There is a logic gap that I can't resolve. People believe that the universe is run by some benevolent father figure in the sky who loves you unconditionally but will punish you for all eternity if you cross him?

Personally, I've never understood this line of reasoning. Shit, I don't think you could even find a human parent who would sentence one of their children to eternal suffering. Wouldn't you expect at least equal treatment by a supreme being? To me that is kinda what is taught in Church. Maybe I’ve been listening to the wrong part or maybe I haven’t found a Church that shares my ideals on what His plan is.

Actually, it was one of the reasons that I didn't go through with getting married. My ex-fiancé is a person of strong Christian faith and she subscribes to the Christian traditions. I can't see myself doing that and to me I think it is of the utmost importance that couples share the same views on how they practice their faith. I could never practice like she did, and I bailed. I think my name being Thomas is prophetic because I take after the Biblical one.

Q:
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

A:
For me it is futile to even answer this question. I've never been where I saw myself in 5 years. So why even plan anymore? I can tell you want I want to do and that is travel the world. I'll probably spend some time in Europe when I get out of here for a while maybe Poland and Germany but, where I want to go is the Island of Gorée in Senegal. More than likely that is the last place my ancestors were before they were sold into slavery. I owe it to them to return and make the trip full circle. Show their spirits that as much as they tried they couldn't break us and we have returned stronger than ever. Other than that I'd love to go to Sydney that's always been a place I want to go and I guess finally I'll head to China. Why? Because it's the birthplace of fireworks.

Forgot a very important country I want to go to Brazil. I don't think I have to explain why.

Q:
What do you do on the weekends?

A:
Nothing, I "work" if you can call it that on the weekend I'm always on. Basically I just kinda play games and stuff. Sorta like I would do at home anyways.

Q:
I'm confused are your ex-girl and your ex-fiancé the same person?

A:
No.

Q:
Do you ever think about your home and wanting to go there after work?

A:
Naw, not really. I never really went home after work. I was always out until 10 or 11 at night. I just went home to got to bed and if I had a change of clothes at T Money's I probably didn't go home then. I didn't have anyone to go home for so when I got home it was the TV and I. No phone calls or anything. So I really didn't spend a lot of time there.

I think more about Atlanta than I do about Phoenix. That's where my emotional connectons are.

Q:
Who is the little one?

A:
That’s my nephew D. Hustle Jr. I figured that the past few weeks had been kinda depressing so I figured that I liven it up with a little DHJ appreciation. Everyone loves babies.

Q:
He is really cute he should be a baby model.

A:
I’ll pass that along, I think it is because he takes after his Uncle.

Q:
I’ve been reading your blog and I think you would be great as a politician.

A:
I don’t. The American people don’t want people like me running the country. Besides, the way I see it there is enough ammo in this blog alone to bar me from ever running for political office. If I ever did it I would do it for the most part to poke fun at the system. It is not my intention to make this blog political so I won’t I will only say this the people in our government are there to serve the party first and the people last. If you look at our political leaders they will vote in lockstep every time in order to support the party regardless if the idea is bat shit insane or not.

Think about the person you love the most or you trust the most. Are they correct 100% of the time? So what is it about the group you align yourself with that makes the difference? On top of that left wing and right wing describe what side of the aisle you sit on. So at the end of the day the direction of America is based on where you sit. Politicians sound a lot like high schoolers to me.

Q:
Aren’t you being pompous as well by claiming you are “Rich Bitch”?

A:
Aren’t you missing the point? You need to take me and this site as tounge-in-cheek not everything here is to scale and I intend to be funny. If you are looking for serious analysis then go to CNN, or NPR.org or something. You aren’t going to get that here.

Q:
There are some fine women on your site is there anyway I can get in touch with them?

A:
1. Don’t thank me. Thank their parents
2. Who are you?
3. Hell, I can’t get 90% of them to email me and they KNOW me what do you think your chances are?
4. That’s kinda creepy. I would prescribe a bit more outside time for you.

Q:
I heard about the helicopter crash are you ok?

A:
Yes, I’m fine. I’m not going to go into much about it out of respect for the families but, it saddens me. I mean I'm not a Marine but, I am you know? I'm here with them I live with them, talk with them about home, about family, kids, bothers and sisters and things like that, when I pass by computers I look at the wallpapers they have and it’s almost always a woman or some kids or a family photo. It's a brotherhood here in some ways and either you are a brother or not. And know I mourn in a different way when I hear about troops dying.

One of the things they have at some command centers is like a wall of
honor for the fallen troops in their units. I look at every name every time I go into command center, if only to say I know that you exist. I look at the ages I mean we got kids out here that are dead and they were born in 1985 or 1986. I know when I come back I'll be different because of it.

Q:
How’s that bug bite?

A:
It’s fine besides a few fever dreams about me being a coyote running up a waterfall to see the sun melt into the visage of a skull. I’m fine.

D. Hustle Jr. appreciation day

I decree Jan 26 D. Hustle Jr. appreciation day!









I made some edits so you can click on the pictures.

So, How much do you make with a job like this?

Dear Marine,

In the civilian world it is generally in poor taste to ask someone how much they make. I know that you may be curious as to what I may receive in compensation. It may appear to you at time that I am not "working" as you define working and that my hours are not set such as yours. Well, I "work" in my mind. I'm always thinking of ways to improve the process to insure that you and your fellow Marines get the most up to date information and that the system is operating at maximum capacity. My job as it were is to be proactive and spot problems before they become problems. I'm here to help.

Could you get a job like mine? Sure, everyone can get a job like mine see all it takes is an interest in communications and/or computers (whichever you don't know you'll pick up, trust me) and an active war. If you have those two things going on then I'm sure that you could find employment with my fine company.

Also, I know that you hear stories from other contractors about how much money they make. I must admit they do make very good money for what they do. However, I would caution you against listening to people that are so loquacious about how much money they make. Besides being a bit uncouth, it reeks of pompousness; I’ve never liked people that brag on what they have or how much money they make. I mean it’s cool and all that they have done well for themselves and I’ll never be one to say don’t toot your own horn every now and again. But, bottom line is no one cares about your mink lined toilet seat covers from Italy. I think it’s more important to put stock in what you do in life. For some guys out here there is nothing more satisfying than being here serving their country. Be more concerned about what fulfills you as a person after that the compensation just becomes a plus.

That being said,

I'M RICH BIAAATCH"


This post is Socreges approved.

Unexpected results.

When I first came up with the idea of doing this blog it was really a way for my folks to keep up with me from day to day. I really had no clue what I was getting into (regardless of my confident banter) and this when Fallujah was a much more violent place than it is today. It was an opportunity for me to take account of my life and kinda put myself in perspective also in a worst-case scenario I wanted it to serve as a eulogy. I didn’t want to die out here (or anywhere for that matter) and not be represented properly. I had a big fear that if I died people would be sending me up as some patriot that a true American who gave the ultimate sacrifice for my country and a whole bunch of rah-rah about how great of a guy I was or something like that. I wanted people to see me for the good and the bad most of all I wanted people to know I was a professional in all things and I always tried to do the right thing by people when I could. However I got this email the other day and I have read it over and over again ever since I got it and I wanted to share it with you all. This email has touched me and it has been so special to me. I know if I ever get to meet this person in real life I would just like to run up to her and give her a big hug and say thank you for listening. I see that this blog has become something else a way for people to connect with their own families and their friends and I’m proud of that.

The letter -

A friend of my husband forwarded your blog link a few weeks ago and my girlfriends and I have been silently following ever since. I wanted to let you know that your site has brought me to tears on a few occasions, not because the content is particularly sad, but because as a Mother I worry about my girls like crazy, and I think your site is such a great gift for your family to keep up with you.

I also feel as though I've learned a little bit about you. In emailing you, I thought I would just let you know that I have enjoyed keeping up with your adventures. Keep your chin up and stay safe.

Take care

A mother's story: My son is in Iraq.

People always ask me how my family feel about me being out here so I asked them how they felt and my Mom was the first to respond. I was hard for me reading it but, I wanted to share it with you all and with you all...

Having a son in Iraq is scary, as your mother I never stop worrying
about you, although I don't worry so much that I can't handle my day to
day routine.

I have a need to hear from your everyday, when I hear from you it tells
me that you are safe and have made it one more day, which is the only
way to taking Iraq from day to day, hour to hour.

I find myself constantly in praying for you and our other brave sons and
daughters who are serving. It matters not what company they may be
serving, private or governmental.

I question why you had to go because you didn't have to. I am hopeful
that this will be a great learning opportunity and that you will advance
you professional career and that you will also bring something back from
your experience that will lend to your personal aspirations.

Things have changed for me and our family in many ways. We think of you
being in harms way when we didn't before. I didn't pray as much as I do for
you, it use to be once a day Monday through Friday and twice on Sunday
now it's all thought the day.

I miss knowing that I could call you when I wanted to, now I find myself
waiting for a call from you. I now more about your finances and banking
something that I never knew but because I am the caretaker of your
affairs I have had to become more familiar with such things.

I miss you more and I have a picture of you on the glass den table that
way I feel closer to you when I can see you and it's nice that the first
thing your nephew D. Hustle Jr. does is pick that picture up and I get to tell him that your uncle Tommie/Uncle Furious and he tries to repeat what I have said and
he is always pointed with that little finger of his at the picture.

I am always talking about you and then I have to remember that I have
another son and I feel obligated to say something about him too.

I tell everyone that will listen that my eldest son is in Iraq but not
in the military. People are inquisitive and they ask lots of questions
then they offer to pray for us, some gives me the old aaah, then the
look at me like it's a death sentence, that's when I have to reassure
them that it's okay as far as okay goes. I have told so many people
that when they greet me the first question is how's your son in Iraq. My
church family knows that you are in Iraq and you are lifted in pray
during our Sunday morning worship services.

All in all I try to keep a good spirit and I try to keep the others up
especially your Dad. Your Brother was mad about you going to Iraq and I
told him that he had better not let you know how he felt because this
was your life and you had a right to make your own decisions about what
you wanted to do and what an opportunity.

I must tell you that I was so nervous when you left and I cried every
time someone mentioned your name or said Iraq or the word War...I would
look in your Dad's eyes and I would see sadness. In fact your Dad would
say don't be writing him so much he's going to miss home and he's going
to be home sick etc.

I told your Dad to get lost on that. I would not listen to his rubbish. I
am so glad for the cell phone, I am also happy about text messages you send but I
am not good at using it other that to write OK {:>). Oh yes I am glad
about my laptop and if my son hadn't gone to Iraq I would still be
computerless but now don't get me wrong...I didn't need my son to put
himself at risk for a computer...I am just saying I am glad I got it.

All in all I am proud of you and I have always been proud of you, you
have always had a need to get close to the edge but you haven't fallen
yet. The first time you got to close the edge and were about to fall
your Dad saved the day. You were a little boy when we lived in
Birmingham you crawled over the railing and was about to jump two
stories down.

Dad isn't there to save the day so I am counting on you to take
precaution.

Love Mom

Paying the piper

People that know me know that I despise borrowing money. I'm proud to a fault when it comes to things like that. I'd rather die than beg.

Four years ago I moved into my house that was one of my biggest victories versus the Man™. Let me tell you what happened I left work early on Friday to go put my downpayment. Told my boss and everything he was like it's cool we will see you on Monday. So I go put my money down and I'm living the easy street. Go back to work on Monday about 8:30 at 9:15 I'm at home sending out resumes, laid off. I still have some bitterness about this situation becasue my boss knew they were going to flip me on Friday but, I can't be mad. It's business. Better you than me. I know if the situations were reversed I'd flip him too and wouldn't blink an eye.

Now then if you know how downpayments on houses work once you sign the papers your downpayment is non-refundable. So here I am 2Gs down, with no job, a house being built and I won't be able to close because I have to cash my 401k out to live. Even if I did close I'd only be in the house for 2 days before the power got cut off. If I didn't have that going on I would have packed up my bags ask my girl to move to Atlanta with me and start over at home. But, I'm 2Gs in the hole and like I said I'm no quitter. The kicker about this is that with my old company to get your severance pay you have to sign a non-competition clause. That means you can't work for a competitior of said company for a year. Well this was my first job out of school, what other job experience did I have? Bag Boy?

A loser is me.

Lesson #1 - Intern in college, diversify your knowledge base.

No one wanted to hire me and I got so many rejections I thought I was in the 10 grade again. One of the worst things to me was that when my brother go married I couldn't afford to get he and his wife a wedding gift and I had to borrow 225 dollars from my folks to get back home. How low are you on the totem pole where you can't scrape up 20 ten dollar bills? I have never forgot that feeling it fills me bile just thinking about it today. Well, my girl at the time realized that I was eating myself up inside and she talked to her stepfather about postions at his job. He was a contractor and his company worked for defense contractor so the idea was that I could work for them and then still work in the industry since I wasn't technically working for a competitor the clause was null and void. So I talked to my girl's stepfather and he said he would talk to the President of his company and see if they could use me. Well I had a meeting with the President and the Chief Software Architect and things went well next thing I know I'm getting an offer letter and the job was paying 30% more than what I was earning at my old compmay.

A winner is me.
Lesson #2 - Nepotism and cronism is good, having skills helps a little too I guess.

Well this is about 4 months after I lost my job so I have burned almost all my 401k cash and I have another 2 months to come up with about 10k to close. Well that's not going to happen so I here I am again forced to borrow. I go to my folks hat in hand and ask them for a few grand and they help me out but, I'm still short so after a long talk with my girl she said ask my stepdad he'll help you out. Oh I sat on that for a long time, I hate taking money from people I'm realted to. Taking it from people I'm not is even more pituful.

Well I talk to him and we come up with a budget plan where I can pay him back for the few grand I borrow from him. I mean I work for the same company he does and the company is doing well, I'm going to marry his stepdaughter so it's not like I'm going to skip town and once she gets out of school we will be printing 20s in the garage. So if you allow me to defer paying you till she gets out of school then we will be cool. What could go wrong?

Well a year and a half later? Everything.

The ecomony bottomed out and contractors took the first hit so I'm back on my ass. I was fortunate that I had a friend at my current comapany and I was able to get in there so I wasn't going to be TOO broke but, if you have been following my blog then you know the rest of the story.

A loser is me.
Lesson #3 - NEVER and I mean NEVER base your finacial future on what someone else will do for you. If you can't pull the weight by yourself drop the wagon.

During this entire time I have had nightmares and couldn't sleep at night because my mind was always on paying them off, I have been obsessed with the idea and if I didn't go to sleep with it on my mind, or dream about it, I woke up with it on my mind this has gone on everyday for the past four years, everyday. I mean I would pay them 50 or 100 dollars here or there but, it wasn't near what I owed them. Thank God they understood my situation (well I don't know if they understood it but, they were understanding). I sent them both checks for 1000 dollars last Friday and neither one of them expected to see the money that day. That was the first Friday I didn't dream about owing money to them.

Shower Stories: The end is near

I was in the shower today doing my regular shower thing. You know how it goes but, I always do an extra once over to check for fleas and ticks and any other manner of beasties that may have hitched a ride. While I’m checking myself I see this white piece of string in my “area” so I go pluck it off and Holy God that hurt! It never occurred to me that you could get grey hairs down that way. I never knew that you could.

Bummer.

Kiss of the rat.

Well, I the next day I finally drift of into some uncomfortable sleep I’m still tweaking every time I think I feel something. I look like Smokey on Friday when he took that hit of the Angel Dust. So here I am resting comfortably for a few hours and then I feel something furry brush past my lips. Normally, when something furry brushes past my lips I’m well aware of it (probably looking forward to it). Being shell shocked from the other day I open one eye slowly and guess what I see (I'll tell you this it wasn't the mammal I was hoping for).

That fucking rat is damn near sitting on my face. I jump up again and my co-worker looks up to see the rat scurry off to it’s little hidy hole. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world. For some reason the humor was missed on me. Oh I felt sick as hell. I went to the shower to wash my face and brush my teeth.


5 times.

There's something big in my pants.

Let's just say that this weekend hasn't been the greatest. It rained here and rain is awful the other thing about rain is that all the critters those live outsides want to find a warm place inside just like you do. I've been in the office for the past 96 hours and I was here sleeping on one of the beds all of a sudden. I feel something moving in my pants around my thigh. Next thing I know it is like 20 beestings all at once. I jump up screaming and start banging the hell out of my leg. I don't know what it is was but it better be dead when I get finish.

I let out a slew of obscenities and all I know is that my leg hurts like a son of a bitch. My co-worker springs up and says what's wrong. I'm say something bit me I don't know what the fuck it was but it hurts like hell.

He asked me where and I tell him on my thigh so I'm unbuckling my pants to take a look at my thigh. I look and see that there is a welt on my thigh about the size of a silver dollar and rose up about the height of a Tums tablet. It's already turning blue. I say come over here and look at this. He looks and says what in the hell bit you?

Well what ever it was it's still in my pants so I take my pants off. Now here's the kicker I'm in the office with my pants off and my co-worker kneeling in front of me looking at this sting and at that very moment the Marines come in to see what is up because I made a lot of noise. Let's just say it was an awkward moment for everyone and for the record we will not discuss such activity again. I shake my pants out and nothing comes out of my pants we look around the room and we see no signs of a nest or anything like that but, everyone is looking at my leg in amazement. Well after a few minute the Marines leave but not with out the requisite “We’ll leave you boys to finsh up your work and I have some baby wipes in the office for when you guys get finish. You want you want to stay clean boys.”

Comedians, the lot of them I’m sure they got a big Hollywood contract waiting for them back in the states. Well I wasn’t suffering from shortness of breath or anything like that so I changed pants and now I’m just waiting to see what happens. If this doesn’t go down like a normal bug bite in a day or so I’ll head to the medics.

Holy Christ that's not fog!

I haven't been outside during the daytime in about 96 hours and I had to go over to the PX to go pick up a few things. I walk outside and there is this dull haze out there. For those of you who don't know it has been raining like mad with high winds out here for the past few days and it's awful outside.

I'm walking to the PX and I start to cough a little bit about halfway there I'm coughing alot and then I realize that now that the rain has gone the wind that was behind it has pick up all this sand. And sand out here isn't like sand in at the beach. It's fine like baby power it gives off the impression of fog but I was really walking in a low intensity sandstorm. It was horrible, I have to tell you I'm not exactly sure what the Iraqis are fighting for around here. If anything I'd be fighting to get the hell out.