From the annals of the insane: I wish I could make stuff like this up.

Famed gorilla in sex lawsuit: Did Koko want a peep show?

By May Wong, Associated Press Writer

WOODSIDE, Calif. — Two fired caretakers for Koko, the world-famous sign-language-speaking gorilla, have sued their former bosses, claiming they were pressured to expose their breasts as a way of bonding with the 300-pound simian.

Nancy Alperin and Kendra Keller, both of San Francisco, claim they were subjected to sexual discrimination and then wrongfully terminated after reporting health and safety violations at Koko's home in Woodside, an upscale town in the south San Francisco Bay area.

The lawsuit against the Gorilla Foundation and its president, Francine "Penny" Patterson, the longtime trainer of the well-known gorilla, was filed this week in San Mateo County Superior Court. It seeks damages totaling more than $1 million.

Foundation attorney Todd Roberts said the case mischaracterizes the foundation and turns a "purported employment issue" into publicity "hurtful" for a reputable organization.

"We unequivocally deny these allegations and are confident that this case lacks merit," Roberts said.

Alperin and Keller were hired last year and were among 16 employees of the foundation, which was founded in 1976 to promote the preservation and study of gorillas. It is best known for Koko, who has mastered a vocabulary of more than 1,000 signs; the foundation says she has advanced further in language than any other non-human.

The suit claims Patterson pressured the two women on several occasions to expose their breasts to Koko, a 33-year-old female — sometimes in situations where other employees could potentially view their bodies. The women never undressed, said their attorney, Stephen Sommers of San Francisco.

They were threatened that if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish, their employment with the Gorilla Foundation would suffer," the lawsuit alleged.

The lawsuit claims that on one occasion Patterson said, "'Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples.'"

In addition to the alleged harassment, the two former workers claimed the Woodside facility had unsanitary and unsafe conditions, including rodents in the food preparation area and gorilla urine stored in the refrigerator where workers kept their lunches.

They complained to the California Division of Occupational Safety and Health and were fired on Aug. 6, the day after inspectors visited the site and found code violations, according to the lawsuit.

The lawsuit also claims the nonprofit failed to pay for overtime and provide rest breaks.

I can't make this stuff up true believers

PS: F-U T-Money

Oh by the way I wanted to issue T-Money a big F-U from a situation that happened about 10 months ago. I’m not going to name any names but, ALL the involved parties know who they are. It was this past summer and we were just chillin’ at my spot when one of our friends who lived near by called to say come over and take as swim.It was a particularly lazy Sunday and it was probably 115° F/ 46° C so no one was in a real mood to do anything but, there was beer involved so as always you tend to move. Well we get to this “friend’s” house and they have invited some more of their “friends” and their “friends” invited some “friends”. So it’s a small party where we were drinking beer and Bloody Mary’s to stay hydrated of course. Well I happened to catch one of the young ladies’eye. This is not unexpected simply because I am a sexy bastard and it happens all the time, it’s a natural reaction I suspect. Well this particular young lady made it known to Mr. Money that she was attracted to me and wanted to make my acquaintance. The only problem with this situation is that she looked something like this.



Well, Mr. Money being the fine upstanding gentleman that he is told her that I am kind of shy and that she should ask me if I would take a picture with her.

Well, Ms. Waddlesworth ambles over my way and asks if we can take a picture together. I’m like cool and I set up to take an off distance picture with her. One of those pictures where you are taking a picture with someone because you are in the frame basically. Then Mr. Money, the artist, who took a whole semester of photography in college, says,

“No, No you all should get closer. Now Tommie put your hand here, Ms. Waddlesworth stand like this. Ok get a little closer. Now then look like this.”

Of course that bastard has me hunched over this girl like I’m mounting a mechanical bull. Then he has the nerve to say,

“You all would make a cute couple”

Followed by his trademark “You are the most pathetically funny individual that I have seen ever in life, perhaps you were born solely to amuse me through your misery”™ laugh

I let him know my displeasure at being his comic foil through the use of a subtle hand signal. This seemed to only make him giddier, with the added fact that the token of my appreciation was caught on camera. Well that wasn’t the worst part, it seems every time his digital camera is in his vicinity and he needs a quick laugh, at my expense, he would produce this picture to show to everyone around and tell people

“Do you like this picture of Tommie Hustle and his babycakes.”

Comic genius at its height, I swear. I’m going to get you back one day just wait.


This post is explodet approved

Rogue's Gallery: 0009 Mike

Mike is the first Iraqi that I have ever spoken to. Obviously his real name isn’t Mike he has an American name that he has adopted. Well, it’s not really fair to call him an Iraqi, he is an Iraqi national who lives in Washington, DC. He is an interpreter I met when I was on travel. What I have learned from him is that there is a difference between and Interpreter and a Translator. I, probably like most of my readers, thought they were synonymous but they are not. Mike told me that a translator is someone who simply converts one language to another without regard to context. Much like you did when you took Spanish or French or German whatever foreign language you took in high school. You simply looked at a word and converted it to English so you could understand it, basically a literal conversion. An Interpreter on the other hand not only translates the words but, understands the context in which they are used.

He was cool, he would go to the bazaar and get us fresh baked bread and stuff. It was actually pretty good but, I have this lingering feeling that some parasite is growing somewhere between my esophagus and lower intestine. He was cool to talk to when he came by. He always came by and sat with us at chow and enlightened us to yet another facet of Iraqi life as to which I was previously unaware.

Been doing a lot of reading lately.

I haven't read in quite sometime. In my youth I was an avid reader and I could read for days. Hanging out with Javier and Hoss in my off time got me into reading again and I have found that spark again that joy of reading. To me it is the perfect way to get you mind of your day and just relax and become someone or something else for a while. I've read about 4 books cover to cover sind I started reading again and I'm hungry for more so if anyone has a good book they'd like me to check out let me know. I don't care what genre it is I'm just getting a thrill from reading again.

Can't complain.

This week has been a particularly good week for me. I’ve been running the shop by myself while Ken Obi went on travel. I was able to hook up with the Lost Boys and get a whole lot of big ticket work that we hadn’t been able to finish up done. It feels really good to clear up your books, especially when you don’t have a back up around. Today was the first day in a while I’ve gotten a full day’s rest and I worked out, which I hadn’t done in two weeks more or less, and took a nice shower (there was no one in the shower so it was all for me). On top of that today was the first day since I’ve been here where I didn’t have to put on long johns, a three-piece suit, gloves, hat, boots, jacket, overcoat, turban, and a space heater to go to the bathroom. All and all I’m feeling pretty good today and you should too.

End of an Era

Yesterday my main man T-Money boarded a plane to New Jersey for a new job. I’m happy for him as I am for all my friends who find success in their lives. But, for me this is particularly bittersweet moment. Him leaving officially ends my college era. I mean I knew that he was looking to leave Phoenix for about 6 months now. But, I didn't think he would do it before I got back. But, even from here it’s still like wow. I really didn't see myself coming back to Phoenix and him not being there. I've been kicking with him since Jr. year of college (well my second Jr. year). To others there it is a buddy, or an associate, or a co-worker leaving to me its family who is leaving. I haven’t regretted being out here one day except this past Sunday when he was having his going away party. I’ve been fortunate to see all my buddies off when they leave and this was the first time that I wasn’t able to do that. Who knows maybe he was the last one to leave.

Unlike most people I didn’t have lifelong friends (well my brother) from elementary school or neighborhood buddies. I didn’t get my first real friends until I went to college. And I cherish my friendships because I didn’t have many or any when I was coming up. I’ve always made sure my friends had a job or a place to stay. I like to make sure that my friends are taken care of they are my family, in my mind I don't make a distinction.

If you have been reading my blog you know before I left I asked my first 6 friends in life (Meechie Hustle, T-Dog, Mike Chedda, Spellmore, Kerseywater, and T-Money) to be my pallbearers in the event I didn’t make it back. It was important to me that these guys be the ones who do that. I did most of my dirt with these guys in life, it is only fitting that they be the ones to commit me to the dirt in death.

I was lucky that my some of my boys (T-Dog, T-Money, and Kerseywater) from college all got jobs at the same company I worked for. For us it was the endless summer, I mean we were still the same people, had the same attitudes, we didn’t have to grow up, we were making more money than we ever had in life, we lived in a resort town. It was great. If we weren’t at the grill at T-Dog’s house we were at the grill at T-Money’s house or we were stumbling out of club Rio. Anyone who has lived in Phoenix in the past decade knows the greatness that was Club Rio. It was a modern day shrine of Bacchus, you really couldn’t have a bad week once you decided to end it at Club Rio.

Then something happened, everyone started to grow up. They started turning in their Player’s Cards by choice. Everyone started getting married and having kids (not exactly in that order) and now it’s just me who has never been married or had kids. I’ve been living the college lifestyle for 12 years now and with Travis leaving that officially ends my run. Everyone has moved on, (Mike Chedda in Nashville, Spellmore to Louisville via a short stint in the Middle East, Meechie Hustle and T-Dog in Atlanta, Kerseywater in Michigan, and T-Money now in New Jersey) grown up and responsible on me. The funny thing is I’m the oldest of the group. I guess even Peter Pan has to check on his 401k.

I think I’m going to do a rogue’s gallery on these guys because they are the people that made me who I am plus I got so many stories. Who can forget when T-Money and Spellmore fell in love at the Blue Flame. Or when Kersywater became a project lead after his third week on the job. Or slangin’ summer sausage for cheese. Or even better who can forget the days of the Olympics in ’96 when we learned how to beat the system all good times.

At any rate congratulations T-Money on the come up. Once it warms up I’ll stop by to see how y’all kick it in Jersey. You know me I don’t mess with the cold weather.

Merry Christmas

I'd like to say thank you to the Pierce Family for my Christmas card. I just got it yesterday.

Rogue's Gallery: 0008 The Lost Boys

In my time here I have met a lot of different people. One good thing, for me at least, is that they have all been professional people. They’ve been quirky no doubt but all and all they have been good people. My favorite group of Marines has to be the Lost Boys. They are stationed in a location not to far from where I am. This group includes fan favorites like Schroeder and Coot. There are a host of others in the Lost Boys’ unit that probably deserve a Rogue’s Gallery entry but for now this will do.

One thing about their unit is where they are stationed there are no women. Now then I know what your first thought is but, it’s not like that. The fact that there are no women around the unit changes the dynamic of the place, I mean the are men true enough but, it’s more about how they bond. Think about what happens when you get about ten 5-year-old boys together in a room or on a playground and just let them have at it. The vibe over there has a real Peter Pan and the Lost Boys or Lord of the Flies or Outsiders feel if you will. That’s the vibe I get with them. The unit is what I think most people think of when they think Marine. The guys over there are constantly training and are always sharp they are always and I mean always working on hand-to-hand combat. I think that’s what keeps everyone chill they have an outlet to work out any stress or aggression.

But, what I like most about the Lost Boys is that they get it. These guys are professionals they know how to work together as a team, they know how to keep each other in the loop; each member of that team is as qualified as the next. Schroeder is really a brilliant leader of the data shop over there. The thing about them that makes the difference is that they want to work together and that they want to learn the system. As anyone can tell you it’s easier to work with people that want to learn rather than seeing it as an obligation. On top of that there isn’t that information hoarding that you can get with people. Schroeder makes sure that everyone on his team knows what he knows. Any member of that data team can work on any part of the system. And if something goes wrong then I know that they can give me detailed descriptions of the problem. Anyone that has been in support knows how anger inducing it can be when some one calls you and says, “My computer is broken.”

“Broken? What the hell does that mean? Did someone put a bullet in the hard drive?”

I can call over there or email anyone and they all will know what is going on and what is the latest status to me that’s being on the ball. I think it shows real leadership when you can trust people under you to run the place. The best thing is I get regular calls and emails from them about status it’s easy to help them because you know exactly where they are from week to week. Every now and again they’ll hip me to something that I didn’t know about the system.

I think the final thing is that they all naturally like each other. They tend to look at me in awe because I’m the “tech/computer guy contractor” and at the same time I look at them in awe. To me they are so young and I look at what they are really doing they are in a war a war where people that they know can die. I'm in awe of them becasue they have really made the best of a bad situation and they are growing from it in all aspects. I know when I was in my late teens and early 20s I had nowhere near the focus these guys have. It’s good to see people that aren’t as overtly concerned about their station in the world but are concerned with doing a good job and insuring those around them do a good job. These guys are the type of people I could see getting together once a year after this war thing is over.

All praises be due to the mother goddess, Bastet

We had a cat show up recently. We would hear it meowing every now and again at night. Well a few days back we were all outside getting a breath of fresh air and lo and behold. At the doorstep, was the corpse of said the previous mouse invader.

We haven’t heard from the cat since.

Happy Valentine's Day.

The whole “holiday” is pure bullocks and rubbish to me. You are shocked I’m sure. My animosity towards this holiday has earned me scorn from the women I’ve dated (they’ll tell you I have no romantic bones in my body), my aunts, and even my buddies. I’ll never buy into it. There are several reasons why I’m not into it. The first one is that my parents aren’t into it. Like I said they aren’t impressed by what they consider trinkets. To them their love is expressed on a totally different level anyone that has seen my parents together has noticed that and seen that. To them everyday is a day to cherish the person you love and I tend to fall into that category. That’s not to say that they don’t do special things for each other they do spoil each other like mad. I remember asking my Dad what is it about his relationship that has worked so well. He said that for him it was simple. They never stopped dating. For them I think it’s the fact that they aren’t into group fun and Valentine’s Day only works because other people do it.

The second reason is that I was never indoctrinated into the spirit of Valentine’s Day. I never got cards in elementary school when they would exchange card they would always skip over me. So for me after a while I just expected it. I look at Valentine’s Day how kids that are Jehovah’s Witnesses look at Christmas. It sure looks nice but it’s not for me. When I was in Jr. High School and High School I was a lame and no girls liked me so that was out of the question. The first and only time I got a card was when I was 23. My girlfriend in college was the first one to ever give me a card

The third reason is pretty much because it is a made up holiday to keep the economy going. The powers that be figure that most lames have paid off their Christmas bills and they can be guilted into shelling out for something and of course they will always have to top themselves every year spending more and more just to prove what already existed the day before and the day after. To me it comes off as the ultimate keeping up with the Jones’. To me those that have the confidence that comes with experiencing true love life have no need for Valentine's Day since they are adored every day.

The final reason is because of my free spirit. I don’t like to do something because someone tells me I have to or I’m a bad person. I’m more than willing to have a romantic day or buy flowers or take a trip as a matter of fact I love to do it when the mood arises. I love spoiling people and making them feel like they are my whole world but don’t “force” me to do it or I won’t do a damn thing. The idea of HAVING to do it because every other jackass is doing it sickens me to my core. Love is too delicate, too precious, too integral to the core of our beings to be risked on a fake holiday.

It appears that two people still don't read the blog enough.

For those of you that have been paying attention know that I got a surprise for my Mom last month and that I was working on something for my Dad. Well here it is.

Power Mac G5 Dual 2Ghz

As ususal I'm stealth like a ninja. I had my Dad check his e-mail and him being as silly as he is said to me "Hey, I didn't order anything from Apple." and then it hit him. Then he had the never to ask me why am I doing this? Duh, silly because I love you. I heard my Mom in the background say "Don't ask why just say thank you."

It's always nice to things for people every now and then. It's just my way of saying thanks for being good parents. Now that I have that all finished up I wonder what my Brother and Sister-in-law are getting? Hmmm there are so many things to look for in wedding presents.