Rogue's Gallery: Entry 0003 - First Sergeant Duffman

Duffman he is out of Kentucky has a cherub like quality to his face that runs counter to his position. He has big blue eyes. Not, that I’m looking intently into his eyes he just demands eye contact when he talks to you. My office is in the same building those houses the security detail for the Abu Ghraib prison. He is the First Sergeants of that detail. He is a lifer and takes pride in his role as morale booster for the troops. He is the kind of guy that yells everything in a morale boosting way. Even if my office door is closed he will come in and be sure to say hello (well not hello. HURR) for example if you pass by him in the hall and you ask him how he is doing he will respond with “THE FIRST SERGEANT IS EXCELLENT!” or “TODAY IS A GREAT DAY TO BE A MARINE!” or “I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD YOU SEE WHAT IS AROUND ME DEVIL DOGS AND KILLERS!”

It’s a quite enjoyable show and he is good for the morale of the guys around here. The reason I’m putting a Rogue’s Gallery on him is really because he was the first guy I saw when I woke up in Iraq. It was like he was hovering around the door waiting for me to come out. I opened the door squinting, you know that “I just got up and it’s too bright” look. And here comes this guy out of nowhere barking in my face. “WELCOME TO EYE-RAK! THIS IS MY PARADISE, GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US!”

ME (still squinting and not really adjusted to people yelling just yet): Yeah, likewise.

The funniest thing I heard from him was one day when he was repremanding one of his men.

"Have the Lance Corporal come see me please. I need to instruct him that we do not speak to our Hajiis in that manner. We will treat our Hajiis with diginity and respect while they are in our custody. I will not tolerate vulgarity used toward the Hajiis while on my watch. You have him understand that before he comes to talk to me and I make him understand that."

At any rate you all should sleep better at night knowing this guy is part of the Marines. I’d hate for him to be a car salesman.

Today started off as a really nice day

I would say the temperature was about 75/23 really nice day. People were in an unusually good mood today and I put most of that on the weather. Guys were out playing football and everyone was really in a good mood. The other thing I remember was that it was quiet almost too quiet I know that is cliché but, that’s the only way I can describe it today missed the normal hustle and bustle of the day. I was in the office let’s just say hypothetically, playing videogames not really doing much. Then all of a sudden BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM!

The sound obviously didn’t come from the direction of where the EODs usually come from. Everyone in the office area froze for about a half a second then they kick into action.

We went outside and looked around on both ends of the office.

“You see any smoke,” one Marine asked that was down the hall from me.

“I don’t see any from here.” The Marine that was next to me replied.

We all looked around but we didn’t see any telltale smoke from inside the compound, at least where we were. We didn’t get any reports of any injuries or fire damage and can only assume that the rockets overshot and landed somewhere outside the camp.

We all chatted for a minute about randome stuff and then we went back to doing what we were doing. Things like that are over before you know it.

Sick as a dog

Oh I was sick as hell two days ago. I was suffering from what I would consider lack of oxygen from all the smoke from the guys next door. I'm telling you guys that came back from the first Desert Storm that said they had Gulf War Syndrome I think were really suffering from the cacogenic effects of all the damn smoke in the air. On top of that I had some Iraqi "milk" well I don't know what beast it came from but that stuff had to be 99.9% lactose. It had my stomach cramping up something awful. At first I thought I had a hernia because I was lifting some boxes earlier in the day but I couldn't move I was so sick. So between the two I had to head to my room and lay down after about 6 antacid tablets and 6 hours of sleep I feel much better. I don't think I'm going to mess with that milk again.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone. Even though you all haven't even left the house yet.

I'm a sucker for these things.

A guy named Hammy posted this Handwriting Wizard.

What you do is write a paragraph or and then you can take the quiz and it will email you the results. I found my analysis to be spot on. I want my friends and family to read this and tell me if you think this is true about me.


For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Tommie has left lots of white space on the left side of the paper. Tommie fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Tommie has a healthy relationship to the past and is ready to move on. The right side of the page represents the future and Tommie is ready and willing to get started living now and planning for the future. Tommie would like to leave the past behind and move on.


Tommie has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

Tommie is constantly disappointed when trying to reach success. He works very hard, perhaps harder than most, then just before succeeding, something happens that keeps him from success. Often, Tommie changes to a second project just before the first one is finished, thus failing to complete the first project. Sometimes he changes because he feels he needs a different challenge. Tommie feels dejected. This feeling relates to his failures. This trait is very important in a working situation and in a relationship. He must be handled in a very special way to get the most work from him or to make a relationship last. Concerning this trait, personality modification is available to change his life.


Tommie has a temper. He uses this as a defense mechanism when he doesn't understand how to handle a situation. Temper is a hostile trait used to protect the ego. Temper can be a negative personality trait in the eyes of those around him.

Tommie is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Tommie is capable of seeing far into the future. He plans two, three, even ten years in advance. Tommie has high goals and can literally see them being reached. He is very self-confident and has a high self-esteem. Tommie will reach whatever level of success he desires. Tommie has the self-concept that is possessed by less than two percent of the population. That two percent contains the most successful people in the world. When a person has a high self-esteem, he frees himself to achieve an unlimited world of success. Tommie has achieved this frame of mind. Congratulations. He has the self-confidence to take great risk, thus reaping the rewards. If he does fail, it doesn't break his confidence. He knows he can do it! In retrospect of our research, this trait is one of the most desirable to possess, because it releases the writer to achieve his full potential. We recommend everyone raise their self-esteem to this level.


In reference to Tommie's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Tommie slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project. He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Tommie can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.


Tommie has an over-awareness of self. He often feels self-conscious. He fears ridicule, therefore he is careful not to place himself in a position to receive any ridicule. He wonders what people will think if he acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Tommie may stay on the sidelines until he has the people categorized, or he may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about him from the start. In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, he still feels insecurity. He will perform better if someone else is with him because the fear of ridicule from his peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from his clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when he is training, he doesn't have to put himself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.


Tommie will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!


Tommie will demand respect and will expect others to treat him with honor and dignity. Tommie believes in his ideas and will expect other people to also respect them. He has a lot of pride.

Tommie is a very emotional person with a broad range of emotions from the highest highs to the lowest lows. He feels emotional situations very strongly. He'll flash to the very peaks of elation, sweeping everything before him. Then, for some reason unknown to himself, he will burn out emotionally. These mood swings can be very disturbing to him. Sometimes, he feels that he can no longer produce anything. But, after given some time alone to "recharge his emotional batteries", he will spring back into action. Because Tommie feels situations intensely, he relates easily to others' problems. If he is not careful, when he comes into contact with someone who is in a depressed frame of mind, he will also suffer the same emotions and change moods. Tommie reacts impulsively, without much thought before hand. He may plan everything in detail before he even begins, then do it completely different when the time comes to carry it through.

Tommie has a strong need for affection. He thrives on touching and being touched. Tommie desires being told that he is loved, every day. He enjoys being the center of attention. He loves attention, sometimes he even retells stories that got him attention earlier. Tommie has the possibility of being a actor or natural born salesperson, simply because he relates so well to other people. He likes expressing how he feels, what he is doing, and what he plans to do. He is a people person. He will work most efficiently in a people orientated job as opposed to a job working alone on an assembly line (that would drive him insane.)

Tommie tends to write a bit smaller than the average person. When a person's letters are small and tiny, this indicates an ability to focus and concentrate. This character trait is a huge asset in careers like math, science, race car driving, and flying planes. However, if Tommie writes tiny all of the time, he will also display characteristics of someone who is socially introverted. Tommie will often sit on the sideline and watch others get the attention at parties. he might be willing to open up and be warm, but only in small groups or a select group of people. When he is busy working on a project, it is common for all other noises and distractions to just fade away and his ability to focus is incredible. When he says he didn't hear you... really, he didn't hear you.

Tommie has a desire for attention. People around Tommie will notice this need. He may fulfill this need by a variety of ways depending on his own character.

From the Peanut gallery - 12/31/2004

Q:
What time is it there?

A:
This is the question I get asked most often. So I've looked and looked around for a suitable clock online clock.This one works pretty well.

I'm on Baghdad time.

Q:
Have you actually met an Iraqi?

A:
Met an Iraqi like, "Hi my name is Tommie Hustle and I want to be your friend."

No.

I meet them more like, "Yeah, the Broccoli, yes Broccoli, the green stuff, yes right there. Yes, that's what I want."

I don't socialize with the Iraqis or TCNs for that matter. Not that I don't think that in real life that someone I may meet is a good person but, I'm still on PCS (Practice Common Sense) mode and I'm in no mood to talk to strangers or meet new friends.

Q:
Why do you think you don't make good husband material?

A:
In college I was an insatiable womanizer (much to my Mother's dismay). What people didn't see was I had a plan. My "glorious" plan was to do everything and try everything that a heterosexual male (had to put that clause in) could ever fantasize about before I got out of college and got married (the plan was to get married right out of college). Besides graduating from school that was dead second in things for me to do. My view was I didn't want to get married and have some fantasy that I wanted to try out and now that I was married it was out of the question or my wife would not be into it. My fear was that I would have that desire and it would build up to where I do something stupid like have an affair on my wife because I have some fantasy that I never got to try out. I figured if I tried everything till it got boring I wouldn’t have that as an issue. By the time I was out of college I had met my goal and the carnal pleasures that could ruin a marriage were old hat. Once you lift the cover on a fantasy it becomes much more mundane and not very interesting.

When I got out of school I was the perfect husband material (in my mind at least). With the physical temptations out of the way I could focus on the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It worked out well for the most part but I have one fatal flaw. I can be incredibly selfish with my time. Part of it came from the way I related to people growing up and another part is sometimes I just don't like to be bothered with the emotions and problems of other people.

For example me being in a relationship would not have stopped me from coming out here, I think it's 50/50 that I would come out here if I was married with no kids, and 30/70 that I would have come out here if I had kids. I know that a woman needs to be first in her man's life and sometimes he needs to put his own ambitions to the side to please her. I don't know if I'm at a point where I can put my own ambitions to the side for someone. I mean I tried it once and I got burned. That's not to say that I should apply that to everyone else that's not realistic or fair but I for me I know I've been more content when I focus on my own ambitions. I know I have to reconcile that with myself before I can think about being a husband to someone. Who knows? Maybe this cash haul in a war zone will tell me enough is enough.

Q:
Do you know what hajii means and why do you call Iraqis that?

A:
Because Soldiers are discouraged from using the term towel head?

Do you mean Hajji?

Yes, and I misspell it much like it is misused here I do however I see your point and I will

1. Explain what it is for those not as well learned as you and I.
   
   Hajj is the fifth pillar of Islam and to meet the fifth pillar of Islam a good Muslim must make a pilgrimage to Mecca during the month of Dhu al-Qadah. At least once in a lifetime a Muslim is expected to make a religious journey to Mecca and the Kaaba. For the Muslim the Hajj is the ultimate act of worship. Men who complete the Hajj are called Hajjis and I believe women who complete the Hajj are called Hajjas. The term is the ultimate sign of respect for a Muslim in the mortal world. Is that close enough for you?
   
   Here is a random fact about me that most people don't know. I am well versed in the basic tenets of the three major religions (Christianity, Islam, and Judaism).
   


2. As you and I know, the term to Americans is used in a derogatory way. That is the nature of conquest. I feel I recognize this war on a level higher than what we see on TV. I look at it from the reality of it and put it in perspective with other historical events of a similar nature. In the 21st century world we like to think that we have evolved past the ambitions of Khan, Caesar, Alexander and the great Empires of history but we haven't we never will, it's in our nature. The first rule of subjugation is to render the males of any society powerless, to castrate them if you will. As a result the term Hajii is used to disparage much like nigger, chink, savage, jap, wetback, Paki, and I'm sure we could think of many other colorful terms if we all sat at the table and had a brainstorming event but, you get the idea. As the subjugator you have the power to do that and it also makes them seem as a lesser. It is much easier to kill a Hajii than it is to kill a man with kids.
   
   The second phase of any good conquest is to disparage their culture, you know call them towel head, Make fun of their accents things like that. Bring them up from being subhuman fodder but make them just below you. You enforce the idea that they can never be as good as you.
   
   The third part is to introduce your preferred culture to the deserving masses. Slavery was justified as a good thing because the slave masters were "giving" the Africans Christianity so in essence they were doing a good thing (Same with the Native Americans). In the 20^th century the great conquest was Capitalism vs. Communism by following those simple rules we have convinced the pinko, godless commies that their way of life was wrong and ours is right.
   
   In the 21^st century Christianity is not the motivator of choice. What we want to give the Islamic world now is Democracy or more to the point we want them Middle East to willing adopt liberally secularized laws (from the perspective of Muslim culture and tradition) that will allow our culture access to Middle Eastern resources. American style democracy would be a nice side benefit because nations that respect human rights and the rights of individuals are generally more productive but for now it isn’t required. This war is not exactly a war against Islam or a war for the defense of Democracy or even a war against terror so much it is a war that pits the needs of Globalization against Isolationists. If you listen to the terrorists they want the Infidels to leave their countries so they can live as they are used to or believe they should. They really don't have any ambitions (as of yet) to expand. That runs counter to the needs of the global market. The global economy needs customers and we have pretty much tapped out everyone in the western (and Eastern world) world so the only two parts left to exploit are Asia and Africa. Since Asia has a much more stable infrastructure it is easier to bring into the fold. I don't see this activity as a good or bad thing to me it is the natural course of human behavior. You can put whatever spin you want to on it I just recognize the trend is not any different that what we have seen before in history. I just know at the "end" of this war Central and South Asia will be a willing partner in the global market.
   
   But, to answer your question the reason I use it is because they Marines use it and I want to give you an idea of how the Americans view themselves and others and the fact that they, weather they know it or not, are part of the subjugation process.

That's my 2 cents you can leave it on the table if you want.

Q:
You should make a book.

A:
This is the second most common thing I am told or asked about. I thank you all for the compliments and I'm glad that you all enjoy this. However, to me this isn't book material. While you all read this you are putting your own action music behind it and imagining what you think it looks like or how it is. In reality my life here is quite bland. If it weren't do you think I'd have time to write all these blog entries? I mean this is my day. I wake up, brush my teeth, walk to the office, sit around all day and all night hoping something doesn't happen and then I go to sleep.

Fortunately for me it has been very peaceful around here and I hope it continues. I mean who would want to read a book about some guy who goes to Iraq and doesn't get shot at, doesn't shoot anybody, doesn't get the girl, and sits at the computer all day?

Q:
Did you hear about the Tsunami?

A:
Yes, it was daytime over here when we heard about it. I mean what can you say that hasn't been said. As my Brother said we haven't realized the true scope of this disaster and had this happened in Biblical times it would have made the Book. I personally believe that this will be the bellwether on how the world comes together in a crisis because this will not be the last time that humans are witness to a catastrophic event. We have been lulled to thing that the Earth is a stable place, it isn't.

How we deal with this event, not as nations, as humans concerned for our mutual survival is the real test. This event could happen anywhere at anytime. For example did you know that the entire US Eastern seaboard could be wiped out in a similar fashion? Every costal city from New York to Miami would be inundated with water from a Tsunami that could reach 300 ft high and go inland for 20 miles permanently altering the landscape of the United States and we would only have 7 hours best case scenario to react?

On a political level I think it is wise for all the leaderships should call for an end to stop the potshots about what rich countries (i.e. the US) should do or the ineffectiveness of the UN and focus on the task at hand. Don't worry about what others can do. Do what you can do. I think that some nations around the world have lost their way when it comes to criticism of the US. I think that in the fervor to make the US the new bad guy the world has unfairly labeled the people of the US. The people of the US and policy of the US can often times be at odds themselves. It is a disservice to those who are willing to help and want to help to be labeled as selfish.

I was actually at the LZ today and there was a TCN just sitting there blankly. I was told he is from Sri Lanka and he was headed back there to find his family. He came to Iraq to support his family and he has not had contact with anyone in his family since it happened. The guy standing next to him said more than likely he is the only member of his village left. You couldn't help even in this place to feel for him. What do you do when you have nothing left to do it for? I guess he knows what it feels like to be the only man on Earth.

If you haven't heard by now Amazon.com has a website where you can contribute to the relief fund. Here is the link.

Q:
You couldn't have ridden on a Blackhawk those aren't used for transporting Civilians or the highest-ranking officer wouldn't be the one to drive the Vehicle or the EOD team would pack together hundreds of pounds of explosives that would destroy the base.

A:
There seems to be some contingent of readers that are convinced that I'm some sort of phony and that I'm making this grand adventure up in some pathetic effort to get attention.

Well let me explain to you how this works. Yes, you are correct in saying that Blackhawks aren't usually used for transport however I had an ISR (Immediate Space Request) that means that I was authorized to get on the first flight that had available space. It is always the pilot’s choice to decide what gets put on what flight the pilot can take everyone or no one it is up to the pilot. This particular pilot didn't mind me hopping on board with all my gear I didn't weigh much and wasn't much of a burden. They probably had another mission and I happened to be on the way is why else would I be on a helicopter with fully armed Iraqis?

If you would spend more time reading the blog you would see that I don't write everything as soon as it happens. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't it all depends on when I feel like it or the particulars of the idea. At the time of my travels Corporal Ricky Schroder was a Lance Corporal and both Marines had equal rank. He was promoted after my ride with him and I made the adjustment in my blog.
I don't write about everything that I see or do; I went to the bathroom today would you like to hear about it?

Hey guess what? I left my "I know everything about how the EOD operates" book at home I have no clue what they are packing in there (unless you really think they pack teddy bears in the pile) I have no clue where the site is located physically on the base but I do know the blasts are strong enough for the ground to shake, moving my bed as if I bunny hopped it and knocking items off of the top of my closet to the ground. Why don't you tell me how much explosives that would take?

Hey guys look, look over there. It's the baby Jesus he just killed six kittens.

Q:
Do you have a picture of yourself?

A:
It seems I have become a bit of an international celebrity. I don't have any pictures yet and more importantly I don't have a website where I can host photos that hasn't been blocked by the firewall. Once I get a new camera and I can find someplace that will let me host pictures then I'll post up pictures of the environment and myself.

Q:
Those Marines would make good wingmen.

A:
WRONG. Maybe if we were aiming for rickety crop dusters and zeppelins. All my wingmen are ace flyers (Some have long since retired their wings). While we have all had to do our patriotic duty and take one for the team by and large my wingmen aim high and generally take out high value targets. The way I see it what your wingmen shoot down is a reflection of what you are willing to shoot down.

Q:
Why are you giving telling us where you are? You said you wouldn't do that.

1. The bombing in Mosul changed the game. The flurry of emails I got after that let me know it wasn't worth the worry of my family to not tell them where I am.
   


2. Marines are allowed in some cases to tell their family where they are. We don't get instructions from the USMC we get it from out company. They instructed us to be careful about giving out details as to where we were going (at the time this is when American contractors were being held hostage).
   


3. Simply because I didn't want to hear it. If I told people I accepted a job in Fallujah, Iraq I would have never heard the end of it. So it was better for me to say I'm just going to be in Iraq. It allowed people to think, "Maybe he'll be in the good part of Iraq."
   

Q:
I know you can't say, but if you could, how did you get into this gig?

A:
Sure I can say. I've worked in this industry for about 6 years or so and I have a software engineering background then I moved to Information Assurance as a System Security Engineer. One of the challenges of working as a SSE is that we are designing systems for a military application however the vast majority of my co-workers in that area couldn't tell you the difference between a Lance Corporal and a Corporal. In my opinion I felt that we were creating security requirements on the system in a black box. We had no idea how combat works or how our system design would fare in a combat situation where people are focused on staying alive and not the password to release the safety on the BFG 3000. I felt to get more insight on the world we were creating systems for I would need to get closer to that world that uses said systems, however at the time that was a random thought and not anything I really thought would happen.

After a few well-timed Pentagon issued budget cuts, work in my section was drying up and I didn't feel as if the management I was working for had my best interests at heart. I've learned from two layoffs when you feel management doesn't have your interests at heart it's time to get proactive. I started looking for other positions within the company and outside of the company. I happened to find a postion on our internal website that there was a postion open that included 75% travel and that some of that travel would be in areas that the State Department deemed unsafe for Americans to travel to. Well I know it's unsafe to travel to the unemployment office so sign me up. I interviewed and I hit it off well with the management off the bat, there was a rapport that I never felt in my old section, from management at least, and I think I did well on the interview. The only problem was that I was one of 87 candidates to apply for 7 positions and I didn't have any military experience.

It seemed that my charm and winning personality worked in my favor once again and I was selected as one of the seven field engineers. They gave me some training, told me to pack my suitcase, and now I'm here. If you were asking what it takes to get this job then I would say prior military experience, high aptitude with vocational skills (electrician, mechanic, cable/phone/internet installation), ability to travel freely, good personality (this is key). If I weren’t already with the company I dont think I would have gotten the job.

Well this ends the Peanut gallery for this week and for this year. I wish you all a safe and happy New Year and please take some time to think of those who need. For those of you out on the road be safe, buckle up and know when to say when. Crashing where you are is much better than crashing in the car.

Convoys

I for obvious reasons I don't like them however there are some here that would rather take a convoy over riding in a helo. The thing is we do a lot of off roading when we move on the ground (mostly because there isn't much road left) all that stuff that you see on truck commercials we do it. Burnouts, doughnuts, jumping, traveling in ravines, all that stuff. The Marines have a protocol when it comes to driving out and about or at least I think they do. It's called drive as fast as you can over whatever you can to get wherever you need to be.



We are in these HUMMV's crusing a good 50 or 60 miles per hour over hills, dunes, old cars, old ladies, and all that stuff. I'm sure all of this looks really cool from the outside but it is hell on your backside and neck from all the bouncing around. But the thing about it that has taken the most amount of time for me to get used to is that no one wears seatbelts (including myself) and it's not because they think they are cool or that seatbelts will get jammed or anything like that but it's becasue you never know when you are going to have to bail out of the HUMMV in a hurry. Nothing like having to unbuckle your seat belt while taking a load of 7.62 bullets to the face. Now I see why there have been such a large number of non-combat vehicle fatalties. Accidents that would result in a few bruises can will be fatal around here but, on the flip side seatbelts don't protect against gunfire. You can take your choice.

Things your Dad tried to teach you but you blew off because you'll "never" have to do any of that stuff.

1. Replacing a starter
2. Tightining an alternator belt
3. Soldering

When is the worst time to realize when you need this skill? When you are 4 minutes from downtown Fallujah and it needs to be done "quick".

So to all of you out there that say, "I'll never have to do that." or "Why should I learn that? That's not my job."

Think again.

Interesting Fact

They have ATMs here and you can get cash back at the BX (Base eXchange). However I haven't had to use cash or my ATM since I've been here.

EOD

I hate days like this. They should really send out a memo when they do that crap.

E.O.D - Explosive Ordinace Disposal

Every now and again when the EOD team gets enough IED, ammo, RPGs, teddy bears and kittens. They put in this giant pit and detonate it. Now then these are the guys I would love to been around in high school, hell I'd love to be around them today HOWEVER when you are deep in REM sleep the sound of 2 or 3 hundered pounds of explosives going off is for lack of a better word...jolting. I'm up now.

Tobacco companies: The other evil corportation

GOD! Everyone around here smokes or chews tobacco. I mean people that don't even look like they normally smoke do. I guess it's becasue they don't have anything else to do. But, the most disgusting part are people who chew tobacco. They are the worst. We have bottled water that you can pickup anywhere they are pretty much on every corner so if you are hot you just pick one up dust it off and drink. The water bottles have 1.5 liters of volume. Tobacco chewers drink all the water and use the bottle for a spit jug.

Now then these people spend all day spitting into this jug and then CARRY around 1.5 liters of their own spittle. Oh it makes me want to vomit just thinking about the damn jugs. Oh it's so gross. For those of you not metrically inclined think about carrying around a coke bottle full of your own spit.

Email is a funny thing

Over the holiday week I have realized that email seems to be only a function of work. While work was in full session I would get email all the time. Once the Christmas vacation took hold it slowed down to a trickle. Now as people are returning to work it is picking back up again. I can see now why network admins try to clamp down on the work emails. You all have nothing else to do but send emails at work all day!

Marines will look at ANYTHING!

I was walking to work today and a female was jogging past me and two guys that were behind me started talking.

Guy 1: Man did you see that!

Guy 2: Yeah I did the ass and tits on that were tight!

Guy 1: She was hot!

I'm thinking to myself, “No son, you are the one who is hot. Hot from the fever that you contracted from malaria or whatever disease that causes hallucinations in its final stages right before your brain is liquefied. That woman's face looked like cooked hamburger meat!"

God I hope I'm never out here long enough to make the hideous seem acceptable.

All quiet on the eastern front

Nothing really happened today and I wasn't going to post anything because I don't want to post just to get off on reading my own messages. I want to try and keep this informative however I know that some people use this blog as an "alive n well" signal from me so I suspect it's better to write something just to let people know I'm ok.

I guess the best thing is that people are starting to get over their Christmas "cheer". The only thing I can say that is kinda interesting is that they had canned Budweiser in the chow hall and everyone was allowed two. I didn't drink any. I don't care if I'm in a war zone or not you aren't going to get me to drink that swill.