I have the greatest family on the planet!

After hearing about my shower experiences they sent me this super fresh black Adidas jogging suit. For those of you that don’t know me in real life all I wear is Adidas PEROID I’ve been that way since I was 18 or so. It has to do with what I dream about. So if you see me with a fresh pair of Adidas on you know what I am thinking about or what I was thinking about until you interrupted me.

No, but the cool thing is that now I have something I can jump into quickly if I have to go to the bathroom and I don’t have to get fully dressed. Plus because it is so warm I can now go to the showers when it is cold outside. That now ups my shower taking to at least 3 three times a week!

Pride in America -1

I think America is the greatest country on the planet. Even with all its flaws I think the potential for opportunity for all it’s people far outshines that of other countries in the world. Could be just my limited worldview but, I’ll take it. That being said I’d really like for America to give its people some basics when they leave the country just to help them get along with the locals and understand the local customs. I was over by the office and this guy says (please turn on your hick accent now)

“Man I tell ya, I went to go to the BX to get some tobacco and they fuckin’ ran out. I asked one of them fuckin’ foreigners when they were gonna git some more and the fucker looked at me like I was goddamn crazy. I swear, I don’t even know why they have them damn foreigners working in the BX.”

I’m thinking to myself dude we are the fucking foreigners.

So to America I know that you are busy but if you get a little time please let some of our less enlightened citizens know that once you leave the country you are the foreigner.

PS – If you can do that before you give them a gun that would be an added plus I think.

Thinking of you,
Tommie Hustle

Just got paid, Friday night, party hoppin', feelin' right

Well I just got my first bonus check. This is how the game works. You get paid your regular salary three weeks out of the month and on the fourth week you get your bonus pay. So once a month you get this insanely large check. This would be awesome if I were at home but, I'm not so what's a guy to do with a whole bunch of money and no where to spend it? That's right I found myself a tall voluptous woman on the Internet and told her to hook me up with some of your goodies baby. That right I went go see that fine Amazon. I bought a few trinkets and something for my Mom but, I don't want to say what it is until she gets it but, that didn't appease my need for self gratification. So I paid down about half of my car note. I'll finish it off next month and then student loan you're next by God. Your're next!

Anonymous

I appreciate all your comments and I wouldn’t ask you all to register to anything but, if you could just put a name at the end of you comments if you feel like it. I want to be able to get a feel for the people who are commenting. It can be something as simple as initials or your screen name. Of course if you just want to be Anonymous that’s cool too.

Shower Stories: The one thing you don't want to hear

They just ran out of hot water (well that or “The guy who just walked in here has some pretty lips, let’s get him boys!). This one particular day I was disgusting I mean pure D filth and I was determined come hell or high water to take a shower the next morning. I would have taken on that night but, it was about bitterly cold outside and I was freezing with all my gear on. The idea of walking a couple hundred meters in the freezing cold and the dark of night with sandals shorts a T-Shirt and a towel didn’t seem like a good idea.

The next morning I hop up and open the door to get a feel for how it is outside (still bone chilling) I say to myself it’s cold but, you know what I’ll get a few minutes of joy from the heat of the shower and the feeling of cleanliness. The price of feeling like a member of the human society is well worth the 200-meter dash to the shower. I grab my towels and wash gear and head over to the showers. I mean it’s is freezing outside an I’m in some shorts, t-shirt, and some flip-flops. You want to run but the ground is all rocks so if you want to lose your shower shoes (and if you look on the floor of these showers that not what you want to do) or get rocks all under your feet you suck it up and walk calmly.

I get to the showers start taking off my clothes and wrap a towel around me then I start brushing my teeth. The high humidity of the showers is calming and you just want to relax for a second. Minutes later I hear a cacophony of yells, screams, and various swear and about 5 dudes jump out of the showers at the same time. Guy looks at me and says. Showers just ran out of hot water.

I look at him and say, “You…have…got to be…shitting me.”

He says, “Nope, no hot water.”

The guys that in various degrees of soapiness validate his claim.

DILEMMA

Now then, I am filthy as hell. I’ve never felt this grimy and dirty in my life. It’s 20 gazillion below 0 with the wind whipping around like it’s nobody’s business. So I have to make a decision I can go back to the room get dressed for the day and try my luck after work when it’s colder and darker but with hot water however, for the remainder of the day I would still smell like hot garbage. Or I could buck up, jump in the shower, freeze my ass off, and feel like a human for the rest of the day doing myself and others around me a valuable service. I had already committed to a shower and I’m not quitter so I buck up and jump in the shower. I’m instantly blasted with water with icicles in it. Oh my God, it was so cold but, I had to leave it on long enough to get my body and hair wet. If I ever had to torture someone I think I would use cold showers. I get my body and hair wet enough to apply soap and I turn the water off. I breathe a sigh of relief, the frozen hell is over. I’m still shivering like a wet puppy but the heat from the shower room is seeping in so I feel a bit better. I lather up my washcloth and start to rub my body all over. Just the feeling of rubbing the soap and washcloth against my skin was pure ecstasy. I knew I was doing the right thing. I get my hair lathered up from the shampoo and then it hits me. “Tommie you have to rinse off.”

Oh God.

For a brief second I seriously thought to myself I wonder if lathering up is good enough? Well that would be like quitting and I’m no quitter dammit! Now I’m having a conversation with myself to psyche myself up.

Me- you ready dawg?

Me- Yeah, let’s do this!

Me- Ok, on the count of 3 we are going to turn this bad bitch on.

Me- Ok, let’s go!

Me- 1…2…

Me- Wait, wait, wait is it 1,2,3, go or is it go on 3?

Me- Ummm, I don’t know. Go on 3. Dude, why are you stalling? You are acting like a real bitch right now.

Me- But, it’s so cold.

Me- Dude, I know that! Hey, why am I talking to myself?

Me- I dunno?

I turn the shower back on and it has to be a good 5 degrees colder that it was when I lathered up. I’m thinking did they replace the water with liquid nitrogen? I tried not to focus on the cold by focusing on how dirty I really was. There was much comfort in watching the soap and dirt glide off my body. Finally the all the soap and dirt is off my body and out of my hair and I can get outta here. I quickly dry off slide my shorts back on, pull my t-shirt over my head and walk back to the room to get dressed. Oh that was a horrid walk as soon as I hit the door I felt the remaining water on my body freeze up. But, I tell you what. I’ll gladly risk pneumonia every day of the week for that clean feeling I felt.

Talk about good news, bad news.

I was getting out of the shower and this guy was coming in. He was looking awfully chipper and we made I contact so I said, “What’s up?”

He said, “Shit man, my wife she hit the lotto yesterday man we won 250g’s man I can’t wait to get out of here.”

I was like, “Word, that’s tight as hell. So when are you slated to get out of here?”

He said, “Four months, I talked to my XO about taking some leave so I could handle my affairs but he said it would probably be denied. If I were in the states and won it and we were about to deploy then it would be different.”
I’m thinking yeah a guy just scores a ¼ million bucks, is in Iraq, goes home to his wife and his new money has a week or so in the lap of luxury. Dude you weren’t coming back. The other thing is anything can happen around here in four months. He also has to worry about his wife picking up a brand new pair of choosin’ shoes with that new money while he is out here. Man, that would suck.

Hey Mommy, Daddy look at my muscles! See how strong I am.

Since I have been here I’ve worked out about half that time. I am now beginning to see a difference in my body I am a bit more tone. Working out here is easy to do because one of the gym is right by my office and also you don’t have much else to do. If I were at home I’d find some other way to work off this excess energy but working out is as good a method as any. I’m thinking when by the time I get back home I will look physically different than I did when I left. So ladies I’m just letting you know now. Step your game up I’m going to be extra sexy when I get back and I’ll be charging a fee for my time.

You must defeat Shen Long to stand a chance!

Shen Long used to teach at University of Denver or something like that and it was time for him to teach me. His background from what I can tell is telephony. Well as I said earlier Shen Long was only playing with me on our first day of our knowledge transfer he had other tests that he wanted to put me thru and this is when this job got real serious real quick. I needed to make an RJ-45 loopback cable for an adapter that plugged into a two 9-pin serial adapter so I can test some radio channels on a unit we just “happen” to have in the office. Don’t know what I’m talking about? That’s ok I didn’t either. I mean I know what a 9 pin connector is, I know what a RJ-45 adapter is, I know what a loopback cable is. I’ve just never had to build one from scratch. So he gives me some cable, the tools, and some connectors and says, “Let me know when you are done.”

Then he goes to sweeping up dust in the office like I don’t exist. So here I am with a pile of parts and I have no clue where to go. I mean I know enough to say each pin belongs in a slot on the 9-pin connector from the RJ-45 adaptor. There is one more challenge that I need to mention. The RJ-45 to DB9 adapters are the only ones in country and if I screw this up we have to wait two weeks before we get more DB9 adapters in country and that is a might. We don’t have a pin remover so I only have one shot to get this right. Ok, no pressure.

My learning style is one that if someone shows me how to do something once I can remember it and copy it. I am a very visual person by nature and I learn best in the visual arena. I never really pay attention to the why; just give me the how. Now I’m here sitting in front of this pile of junk and I HAVE to make it work. Shen Long still sweeping begins to speak,

Shen Long: You former military or college?

Me: College.

Shen Long: What was your major?

Me: Computer Science

Shen Long: You hardware or software.

Me: Systems mostly some software.

Shen Long: Any hardware?

Me: Nope.

Shen Long: Hmmmm.

Then he goes outside to dump the sand he collected out of the office I’m thinking to myself, “You gonna fucking help me or look like Mr. Janitorman all day? Then he comes back in and says,

Shen Long: Where’s your paper?

Me: What paper?

Shen Long: I guess you don’t need paper if since you know how the loopback would connect in your head. Don’t you have a wiring diagram that is in the CDs that you were issued before you left the states?

Me: Uhh, I guess.

Shen Long: Is that so? Then I would uhh guess to look at your reference CDs. You think that would be a good idea? While you are there check out the section on Type II E&M signaling.

Me: Uh, yeah ok (inside I’m on fire).

While I’m scanning thru my CDs he is tidying up the room putting things in place and totally not paying attention to me, like I don’t exist. I swear he is like a den mother or something. I finally find the cable diagram but it just tells me how to physically connect it (hell anyone could have figured that out). There is a section on E&M signaling that I read thru and I begin to piece together what I need to do and I grab a few sheets of paper off the printer so I can get ready to start my plan of attack. He leaves and then goes to the bathroom. When he comes back he asks me what am I trying to do and I reply,

Me: Wire this connector.

Shen Long: Well, yes I see that buy why are you doing that?

Me: So I can test the radio?

Shen Long: Are you asking me?

Me: Yeah motherfucker, I’m asking you (Now, that’s what I THOUGHT it came out like)! No, I’m not asking you; uhh I’m telling you.

Shen Long: Oh, ok it sounded like a question. So what is the purpose of a radio?

Me –Thinking: Besides having a blunt object to smash your skull in with?

Me- To communicate.

Shen Long – Well what is communication?

Me - Exchange of information.

Shen Long – So how do you exchange information?

Me – Well, there are a million different ways.

Shen Long – A million is a little high but to put you in the proper frame how are we exchanging information right now?

Me – Talking

Shen Long – No, well yes, but if both of us are talking at the same time then we aren’t exchanging information. So how are we exchanging information?

Me – Thinking: What are you talking about you crazy old man?

Me: One of us is talking and the other is listening.

Shen Long: Right, so that means what?

Me: One of us has to transmit information for the other one to receive it.

Shen Long: Hmmm.

Then the crazy old coot goes to checking his email like I don’t exist anymore (I’m really starting to get tired of that). But, at any rate does it make sense to you yet? Well it does to me and here it is. The pins have to connect in a way that will allow for communication that mean the pins used to transmit on one side (talk) have to connect to the pins used to receive (listen) on the other side. If the talk side is connected to the talk side then there is no communication and vice versa. So now after reading some more it comes clear to me that E&M is short for Ear and Mouth (technically earth and magnet) so here it is the answer has been with me for weeks and all I had to do was look. So I have to wire the loopback cable up so the wire allows communication between the radios. That means that the wires have to “crossover” to allow the Tx to get to the Rx. Sound like I know what I’m talking about, huh? Well I didn’t 24 hours ago. If someone would have said in the states that I needed a crossover cable then I would have headed to Fry’s or OfficeMax and picked one up but now I know how to make one (in theory). See all you gotta do it match up the 8 color coded wires. You know the blue, orange, yellow, black, red, red, brown, white.

Uh-oh, there can’t be two red wires. I’m red/green color blind so now I have an additional challenge not only do I only have two adapters in the entire country there is a real chance that I might really screw up and not because I don’t know what I’m doing. I just can’t distinguish the difference.

Me: I know how to wire up the connector but I’m red/green color blind can you tell me which one is green?

Shen Long: Is that an excuse?

Me: No, it’s reality. I just don’t want to fuck up the only RJ-45 to DB9 connectors that we have in country.

Shen Long: Indeed, I wouldn’t want you to fuck them up either.

Then the old coot goes back to his email. I’m thinking to myself did I just end up in Retardo-land? Dude, I seriously need help here and you want to sort your junk mail?

Shen Long: Why don’t you use that voltmeter on the table next to you?

I look next to me and the voltmeter has been there pretty much the entire time. The old coot put it there when he was cleaning up and when I just got started.

Shen Long: You can set it to beep so you can hear when you have a connection on both ends. This isn’t special copper wire as long as your transmit and receive are consistent then you will be fine.

Then he goes on the web to check his investments.

Well that’s only part of it. I have to figure the combination of what wires go where to insure that the crossover is done correctly. I’m going thru several combinations of switching cables over. And I finally come up with the right solution so I tell him that I have the right combination.

Shen Long: That’s nice.

Me: Yeah it is.

Shen Long: Do you think you are the only person to make a crossover cable?

Me: No.

Shen Long: I don’t either; if someone was resourceful enough they could check on the Internet. I’m sure they could find loads of diagrams on how to route the wiring. The Internet is not just for email and pretty ladies you know.

Me: I’m beginning to see that.

So of course I hop on line and do a search on crossover cables and I get a gazillion hits with diagrams and pictures and everything. Had I done this at first I would have saved about three hours. So finally I get done and start testing the radios and he turns around and says “You done?”

I nod at him halfheartedly because I’m in the middle of my tests. I had totally began to ignore him as he had done to me. He was no longer important to me doing my job. He looks at me and says you did a good job getting that all set up and tested. He gets up and goes to a corner of the office and comes back and pulls about another half dozen adapters (the ones we had to wait two weeks to get) out of a bag of 100 or so on the table. So when you get time could you wire another three loopback cables up? I look at him and say you son of a bitch! He only smiles and goes back to working something on his laptop.

As you all are reading this it sounds short but this entire process took about 10 hours and this was just day two. I went about this kind of stuff the entire week. It was a hard lesson but it was one of the best lessons I’ve had since my Dad taught me to tie my shoes. You have to understand what the objects of the lesson were:

1. I learned the mechanics of type II E&M signaling interfaces.
2. How to create a crossover cable from scratch.
3. Use my on hand resources to get information.
4. Draw up my plan before I execute.
5. Make sure I have all the tools I need to compensate for any deficiencies I may have.
6. How to work with no outside communication or support.
7. How to work with limited resources.
8. How to work under pressure.
9. How to think on my own.

If you couldn’t tell I was furious the whole time I was going thru this but as I went along I became less concerned about being pissed at him and more concerned about solving my problem. I saw what he was doing, he made himself a representation of an external stressor (CO yelling and screaming, missile attack, shooting, Tech guy who is in the way) it taught me to divorce myself from the stress and realize that the stress was taking away from my ability to solve the problem. Again to someone who doesn’t handle stress well his teaching style would bring you to the brink of murder. But, for me he was just what I needed.

Which is worse the death? The one you expect or the one you don't.

The day after my cousin was buried my Uncle by marriage on my Mom's side died from a massive heartattack. He was on the road when he called my aunt and told her that his chest was hurting. My aunt asked him where was and his response was that he didn't know.

My Aunt said she told him to pull over see if he could get someone to help him by calling 911. He made it to a Hardees I believe. There were to gentlemen there who called 911. He was in Rockhill, S.C. about an hour from home my family home of Columbia. My other Aunt Debra drove my Aunt Sharon to see her husband the medical folk had him hooked up to the usual stuff, took blood, urine and checked all his vitals, they ruled out any problems with the heart.

He was up in fact he called his youngest son and talked to him but was highly agitated about all the prodding and poking the doctors were doing to him. My Aunt said at about 2:00 p.m. On Thursday the nurses asked her to come quickly that her husband was coding.

My Aunt said they had to administer CPR but to no avail he expired and my Aunt was there alone.

My Aunt is planning for the funeral on Monday but it is in a wait and see situation until the coroners release the body since he was so young.

Dead at 41.

Must be a lot of new opening in Heaven and God is hiring.

Shower Stories: There is a lot of nudity around here.

One thing you have to get used to is that in the showers there is a lot of nudity and by a lot I mean “C’mon dude you’ve been out of the shower for 10 minutes you aren’t air drying. Put a damn towel on or something!” a lot. I guess it’s one of those things that if you are an athlete or a solider or something you get used to. I’ll tell you this you get real secure in your manhood really quickly. I know at first I was in and out. Now a days I can have a perfectly normal conversation with a guy while we are both blowing in the wind and not even feel the slightest bit weird at all. Funny, what a month will do to you.

From the Peanut gallery - 01/15/2005

I want to thank you all for all the well wishes and condolences to my family in regarding my cousins’ loss. It was amazing to see the outpouring of support from people that don’t know me let alone him from around the world. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and I will pass those well wishes to my Uncle and Aunt.

Q:
Where are you/are you ok?

A:
Yes, I’m fine. I held my own moment of silence for my cousin. I didn’t want to make any other posts until after he was committed to the ground.

Q:
Are you going to go to your cousin’s funeral?

A:
Unfortunately no, his funeral was set on a Tuesday and logistically it would have been difficult for me to get there. Of course they could have waited for me however, I felt that waiting on me would have held up the healing process for his family. The focus should have been on his memory and not when I was showing up.

Q:
So what's the set-up there Tommie seeing that you are on call 24hrs a day?

A:
Yes I’m on call 24 hours a day but I don’t technically work 24 hours a day or even 8 hours a day. Well, not “work” as you would define it. Our job here is support so if everything is working then we have done our job and they don’t need us. I don’t sit in the area that I support, I have an office on the other side of the base. Now then when I have to work I work. Sometimes there problems are really simple and other times they can be complex. Which it can range from 30 seconds to fix to 15 hours to fix. You never know what you are going to get when the phone rings.

Q:
Wow! I was reading your page and all these ladies just saying nice things about you. Well, well, well aren't you still held in high regard?

A:
Why wouldn’t I be? I’m a great guy I do my best to treat others with respect even when I’m not afforded that courtesy. If you are with me I will treat you like a queen if we are serious or even just messing around. I’ll take you to the best places, show you things you’ve never seen, and spoil you to the best of my ability. I’m like a magic carpet ride or a day at the amusement park. It is any woman’s duty who is with me to make me look good at all times that mean that I want her to speak well about me especially in the way I treat her. What good is having a man if he doesn’t work to make you feel worshipped? It’s all the same to me, it doesn’t speak to the person she is it speaks to the person I am.


Q:
Do you work from a computer in your room?

A:
No, our office is something like what you would consider an office/den in your home. We have two beds, a projector tv, a fridge, the internet, and a pantry for snacks. Half the reason I’m here all the time is that the movies and the Internet are here I could go to my condo but it’s just a bed. So I’m here about 90% of the time.


Q:
Do all the guys working with software work together?

A:
Depends on what you mean. There are several projects here from different companies so I don’t work with all the software people here. I couldn’t tell you half of what is going on here or what is what or who is who. I mean the guys that work with me we work together and we provide support depending on what level of issue it is. Sometimes you go by yourself and sometimes you go with another person. It all depends on what needs to be done.


Q:
What do you need? And don't be shy I been there before, every one needs something.

A:
Thank you for the offer and because you did offer I will take you up on it one day, just not today. To be totally honest I don’t need anything. We pillage all the stuff people send over here from anysolider as far as goodies go we are a-okay. The things I need (want) are things that aren’t going to fit in a box. Things I want are intangibles like the feeling of going 100mph/155kph, or the idea of Friday actually “feeling” like the start of weekend. For the most part I can walk down to the B/X and get pretty much what I want.


Q:
What you wrote about women is some good stuff... some folk might take you as being egotistical.

A:
I usually don’t say who these messages are from the people that write them know who they are but in this one I have to make an exception. This one came from my Mom and I have to say this my Mom and Dad are great people and great parents however they have yet to take responsibility for their actions in this. So now I’m putting it in the public arena for all to see. Mom, Dad I want you all to accept responsibility for making me this way. I didn’t just pop out like this. My superior confidence is a direct result of your parenting and now you want to deny that? Once you two accept the fact that you created me this way then the healing can begin.