What I did for my birthday

Not a whole bunch really. Just some regular work and then I ate some Veal and Pasta had some Cake and then went to the movies to see the third part of Lord of the Rings.

From the Peanut gallery - 12/17/2004

I've gotten a lot of questions and I figured I'd take time to answer some of the most common questions and respond to some comments that I get.


Q: What's the weather like?

A: Cold, cold, cold. Right now a cold weather front is going thru and temperatures are hovering between the 30's and 40's plus you have a bitter wind that is whipping around so it feel like it is in the teens at night.


Q: Where are you?

A: I'm in Iraq. Honestly I couldn't tell you. Even if I could I wouldn't want to. You would worry more than I think is necessary.

Q: How's the food?

A: Pretty good. We can eat pretty many 24 hours a day we have buffets and can eat pretty much anything. I tend to stay away from the fish but other than that the food is great. And if you know me you know I didn't eat much anyways. I don't cook and/or didn't have anyone to cook for me (I'll need to work on that).

Q: How are you sleeping?

A: Not well really, for two reasons. The nature of the job and the way we move has me keeping odd hours plus the jet lag is horrid so I'm still keeping time a half a world away. I may sleep a few hours here and there or I may not sleep at all. It takes some getting use to.

Q: Does Valve really suck?

A: Yes.

C: You know that people like you are really called mercenaries.

A: Technically, no. Realistically, probably. There is a book in my favorites called Corporate Warriors you should check it out. I consider myself a war profiteer.

Q: Are you sending out classified or sensitive information?

A: No. I'm giving you less detail than what you would find in a Time magazine I don't share everything I see or do. This is just a snapshot of what I see. The timestamps on my posts aren't necessarily when things happen I just put them there to give the impression of a chronological order. It's part of the writing style. Also when I use Marine's names it isn't there real names it's the names that I give them that represents how I think they are in 'real' life.

Q: This is some pretty personal stuff you are writing, is it ok if I send this to a buddy?

A: Sure, I want people to see it so they can get a view that I don't think that you can get from back home. Plus the way I see it if I am to die out here I want people to get a true accounting of me for all my pros and cons. It's really a history of me. Not everything I will write will be about Iraq sometime I may go off into some random thought or something that happened to me when I was younger. I've been very reflective in the past few months so this is really a way for me to capture my thoughts. This blog is more for me than it is for you. But, again send it to as many people as you want.

Q: How do you feel knowing that you are helping kill thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians?

A: The same way I feel when I step over homeless people so I can get in the club before the cut off for 2 for 1 drinks. I don't. Listen this is a war and people die. Sometimes the right people, sometimes the wrong people it's how it goes. We could go the old world route where they rounded up all the men and killed them and then took the women for themselves.

PS: Did you know that the baby Jesus kills two kittens every time you whine like a bitch?

Q: You talk about your Dad but how does you Mom feel?

A: Much the same way. My Mom is much more emotional than my Dad, Brother, and I. Not someone who is whiny or prone to crying but she is much more in touch with all of her emotions so she can handle emotionally difficult situations better than we can. She is like the glue of family.


Q: What's up with the women there?

A: What women? I showed up to sausage party central. Besides I'm a professional. I made the mistake years ago of having relations with someone I worked with. That turned out really bad from then on I swore never to do that again. As a result I don't even look at women that work with me. I mean there are some women here but 1. They are my customer and 2. They are kind of ugly (you could probably flip-flop those reasons).

Q: Do you cuss like that all the time?

A: No. In real life I rarely speak with cuss words. I think them allot and probably the nicer I am to you the more I 'm cussing at you in my mind but what you are witnessing is my reaction to highly unusual and surreal events. The things that have gone on in the past month are not typical in anyway of how my normal life operates.

Q: Do you hate White people?

A: No, why would I do that? They write the biggest checks. In all seriousness no, many things that happened to me when I was a child were transparent to me and I didn't really realize what those things meant until I was in my late teens (they probably weighed on my parents heavily). People are people, some are good and some are bad you can't label people with a broad brush. Besides the way I see it hating is the process of applying positive energy to a negative effort. You only have a finite supply of positive energy why not apply it to positive efforts. Besides once I started living around Blacks I was treated as poorly or worse (we will save that for another post).

Q: Will you marry me?

A: No. As seen here you have a strong penchant for making poor decisions just by virture of being late. If you really wanted to get married you would have let me know you wanted me BEFORE I took a screw job in Iraq.

Q: What does the name Tommie Hustle come from?

A: Simple it's really about the combination of the two parts of me. One the child and how my family knows me and the other part is how I am now and what I'm willing to do to stay paid.

Well, maybe I did major in McGuyver.

Well I been running thru Iraq this week doing a little of this and that and I came to my first real problem. We have this server that streams video all day and it's not working so we need to find out what the problem is.

Well we turn it on and see that one of the processors is bad (it has a dual processor). Simple enough job. Well we pop open the top and we see a sight that would chill the blood of any IT guy.

Inside to server is about 1 inch of sand covering everything. Well I say I think we found our problem. We blow out the sand and try plugging it back up to see if it works. This time the server powers up and then shuts down about a second later. We all are looking at each other like this is bad. Luckily for us we have a spare server (well not really spare but, the motherboard on it was broken) but the processors are good and it has some RAM we can take to bump up the storage on the halfway operating server. Well the problem is that we need something conductive like silicone to go between the heat sink and the chip. Something that is easily available 2000 miles away but hard to get in the middle of Al Nowhererastan. So think Tommie what is conductive, can take heat with out evaporating or catching fire, and is malleable? Aluminum. Well we can get some from a can (we can make it thin if we flatten it enough) or from some foil. Well Lance Corporal Toker, the IT guy, (more on him later) looks at me in pure horror when I suggest that he acquire me some tin foil so we can stuff it on the processor.


"Sir, I don't think that is going to work.” he said.

I said, "I don't think it's going to work either so that makes two of us. However, let's look at the situation right now. Does the server work as it is?"

Toker: No.

Me: Have you tried every method you know.

Toker: Yes.

Me: Did they work?

Toker: Obviously not.

Me: Indeed, so let's look at it like this. Right now the sever is down, if my way doesn't work then what did we lose? You can't over break something that's already broken. Now then if my suggestion works then we win. The way I see it this is a win-win situation. The worse that can happen is that we end up where we already are.

Toker: Ok sir but I still don't think this will work.

Me: Toker this is the beauty of our jobs we aren't paid to think. You think you can find some foil from the chow hall?

Toker: I'm on it.


Well he gets back about five minutes later with some tin foil cut it into 4 squares about the size of the processor. I place the foil on the two replacement processors we bolt the processors back on and then plug the thing up. Well as you would expect, nothing happens. I can see Toker with that "I told you so" grin on his face. I pull the server back out of the rack and I swap processor locations to see if that will work. Nothing. I swap the old processors with the new processors to see if that will do anything. Nothing.

Toker: Sir...

Me: Hold on a second Toker I'm thinking (in real life I'm in panic mode because I think I really broke it).

Me: Ok, let's put the new processors back in and just wait.

I power it up and bingo! The sever starts up and begins to run. I really couldn't tell you what happened I suspect that the foil had to get warm enough to mold to the heat sink really that's just a shot in the dark. All I know is now it works.

Me: Ok let's turn it off.

Toker: I bet you it won't turn back on.

Me: Maybe. But, let's make sure it's not a fluke.

Turn it off, Turn it back on and everything is fine. We do it two more times just to make sure and it works fine.

Me: Well log back onto the server and set it up then let the Lt. Col know you fixed the problem.

Toker: Wow, that was good. How long do you think it will last?

Me: I have no idea. We are lucky it turned on now.

Toker: Well how did you know it would work?

Me: I didn't. I just knew it didn't work before.

Happy Birthday to me!

Well I spend my birthday on a CH-46 what did you do for you birthday. I have a lot of things to talk about with you all some good and some not so good.

Night Vision

Most stuff here is done at night. However they are REALLY sensitive to light being on in the camp that means even flashlights so you have to learn how to move in total darkness. I mean it's wild there are some guys that you will hear (not see) running fullspeed past you in the dark of night. For those that don't know when it is pitchblack outside even a little flashlight can be seen for miles.

That being said that means if you have a flashlight and it's on you are prone to be a target so if you are smart you don't. The second thing is that the insurgents could use a light as a guide to where the camp is located (like they don't already know) or where to fire to. So if you don't want to get sniped or have a mortar land on your head you keep your lights off.

To help yourself what you do is when you go outside you stand there for a few minutes or seconds (depending on how long it takes you to adjust) and soon you will start to make out rough outlines of big things like buildings and trucks so from that you will move as you keep going you start getting more sensitive to other things so if you are outside walking for about 3 minutes you can start to make out people (or outlines of people) to about 10 meters. Once you move somewhere that has light you close your stronger eye (well you can use either) and you walk in do what you have to do and move back outside. You will be basically blind in one eye but in the other you will have doubled your vision in your other eye. Your sensitivity to light will have increased and you can pickup any light easily. Also your second eye will catch up quickly and soon you will be able to see something like normal. You can now tell the details of buildings and people and if they get close enough faces.

Man my luck keeps getting better and better.

Someone stole my goddamn camera. It is a powershot SD 20. I'm not pissed because the camera is gone I can get another. It had pictures of my nephew on it that I hadn't trasnferred over I know the fuck that stole it will just delete those pics without any regard to what they may mean to me.

Oh well the Lord figures they need it more than me.

Valve SUCKS. Boycott Valve and Half Life 2

I bought a game from the states called HalfLife 2 it was is supposed to be the end all be all of video games. So I figured I'd buy it and install it when I got to Iraq. Well, they have some stupid online conformation software called Steam. Well guess what game sites are banned in Iraq so I can't get to the site to register the game so I can play it in single player. This is the most retarded thing I have ever seen. I know there are going to be plenty of pissed off Military personnel come Christmas who have ordered this game thinking they can install it and run. Great job Valve you just fucked the US Military and stole money from anyone who may not be able to get to your funky ass site. This was one of the few things I brought over to entertain myself and now I'm stuck with a game I can't play. But, I'm sure the didn't have a problem posting the money I spent as profit. Fucking thieves.

My Dad is funny.

I called home the other day and let my Dad know what is going on here and some of the things I've seen.

He said, "Son, are you sure you should be telling me this?"

I replied, "Uh, yeah Dad it's cool. I wouldn't tell you anything that is classified."

He said, "Ok son I know they moniter your calls and I just want to say I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING THAT IS GOING ON. YOU DONT HAVE TO TELL ME ANYTHING SON. I DON'T HAVE A NEED TO KNOW. I AM STATING FOR THE RECORD I HAVE ZERO INTEREST IN WHAT IS BEING SAID."

That made me laugh.

Ok quick note

I finally added all of my notes from November to Dec 6. Be sure to check it out.

Also thanks to Sickboy for doing some editing for me.

Dude nobody told me anything about a T-Rex being here.

Today I was awakened by loud bang. That thing scared the shit out of me. I didn't know if it was incoming or outgoing. All I know is that the whole building shook like we were on Jurassic Park. I asked Ken Obi(who was still soundly asleep) if it was incoming or outgoing.

He mumbled something like, "Oh yeah baby touch it right there," rolled over and then went back to sleep.

That shit went on for at least two hours. Finally I ignored it enough to go back to sleep. I got up at about 12:30 and then took a shower today we didn't do much.

Oh yeah, you need to take a shower whenever you can. Because if there is a water shortage it is the first thing to go. Today is the first time I took a shower since I left Kuwait and that was like Tuesday or Wednesday. That's not too bad, my co-workers said that at one point they didn't take a shower for 12 days.

Wheels of fire.

We didn't do much on the third day, I just spent time at the LZ dropping off the FE that replaced me and picking up some more FEs Javier and Shen Long, the big boss, and some gear. You always want to have goggles and something to cover your mouth because those helos pick up a lot of dust. Also, when they land at night, the sand grinds the blades down and the rotors look like wheels of fire from the sparks if the dust picks up just right. I would have taken a picture but they probably would have shot me dead.

Kuwait City a beginner's guide

Kuwait looks and feels like Phoenix and it smells like Columbia,SC. Anyways I learn about TCN (third country nationals) - they are basically like slaves. They would be comparable to Mexicans in the states but worse. I mean the Kuwaitis treated them like dogs. It's weird, my handler is from Mississippi and I mean he is Mississippi thru and thru, but he showed so much kindness to those TCNs it was incredible. It was weird - for us as Americans we think of people from Mississippi as backward racists hicks, but in Kuwait he was the one of the kindest people they knew. If there were more Americans like that we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in now. At any rate I went to my spot and went to sleep.

We left out the next morning.


One thing that was wild is that they had some horrific car wrecks. The way it works out here is that there are six departments responsible for taking crash reports and until each department comes and checks it out, the car can't be moved. So you have Porsches, lambos, Ferraris, and all sorts of exotics just wrapped around telephone poles, walls, and flipped over. I mean they are rolling like 95 to 120 mph on the streets.



Another thing is these people are filthy rich this is a 600,000 sq ft home. It costs 100 dollars per square foot. Do the math.



You know how they pick up Mexicans in a trucks to do day work? Well they do that here as well with TCNs, but they drop them off on the interstate and they have to run to the other side of the interstate to get home. Think of a major interstate in your city (75, 40, 65, 20, 10, 85, 17) and think of someone picking someone up on the left side of the interstate and then dropping them off on the right side of the other side of the interstate (i.e. getting picked up on 40W and then dropped off on 40E) and then they have to run across the interstate to get to their homes. Think about someone running across I-75 to get home.

At any rate, I get dropped off at the Military base in the morning and then I get handed over to my Marine handlers.


Here are some more pics of the place that I could get.

Let's take a tour of your new home, don't trip over that 50 cal.

On the second day we got up about 11:30/12:00 and they showed me around the camp a bit. We then went back to the command center to fix a problem and there I saw some operations where they were fighting some insurgents. A squad was taking heavy fire from a building and they called in some support. There was a UAV that spotted where the fire was coming from and then they moved a tank about 150 meters from the front of the house then BAM! They let loose a shell that demolished the front half of the house. There were all sorts of things going on in there. One thing I heard was a guy saying "permission to counter fire?" He gave some coordinates and then you heard in the background some shells launching. Well the Marines have a series of sensors that all planted all over the place and they can pinpoint where something has been launched from in like 5 seconds. If it is a designated kill zone they can fire at will. If not, then they have to get clearance to fire. So that was my second day (I think).

Welcome to Yankee Airlines

My Marine handlers were cool. One guy was from south Florida black dude he was cool and the other guy was from NY and looked like Pee Wee Herman with a 9mm. I was there for a long time until they got me a flight out. I don't get on my plane until 10:00pm.

There were a whole bunch of Marines on board - it looked like something out of Black Hawk Down or some shit like that. There were two windows and I was pissed that I wasn't sitting by one I was hoping to see some explosions or something. At any rate landing was a trip - the plane falls, then banks right, then banks, left, rises up tilts 180 then comes back the other way 180 and does a whole bunch of other stuff. This is all to make itself a harder target to hit but it comes off like riding every ride at Six Flags all at once.

I get off the plane man I have about 5 bags of shit well the plane was still running so when you jump off you get blasted by the engines and I almost fell over. Then we had to hump about a 1/4 mile to the base station.

I was met by another handler. He told me that I needed to catch a helo to my next point and they need to get me on the manifest. He asked me if I was hungry and I was like yea. He said let me find you some MREs and then I went to the bathroom. When I came back from the bathroom the Major was like "hurry up we got a helo heading to your next location now." So I'm like
ok he hands me some MREs and says stand behind these guys. I look around the corner and was like, "What the fuck!"

I'm the only American passenger on this Blackhawk with a bunch of fucking Iraqi soldiers! I was like fuck no, this cannot be fucking happening. So anyway I get on the helo I get strapped in. And for some reason I recite the Lord's Prayer. That was weird because I've never said it before and I knew the entire thing but, I figure if this God thing works it needs to kick in right about now.

The Iraqis come in after me and then they buckle up and get ready to take off. Let me tell you about riding in a combat heliocopter they leave all the hatches open and then gunners (as you would suspect) have their gun perches open. It is cold as fuck inside that helo. Everyone has their own window to look out of. I realize I have a window to the back of my head someone can shoot me. I'm like fuck.

That wasn't the worst part the worst part is this Iraqi motherfucker next to me start rubbing on my foot with his foot. At first I'm like maybe this motherfucker just needs some space so I move my foot. So then this motherfucker does it again, so I move again. Then about 3 minutes later he does that shit again. I've been in the 8th grade I know fucking footsie when I feel it. So I move again this time I'm running out of space. So I'm like if this motherfucker touches me again it's on.
He does that shit again and I'm like "Motherfucker you need to stop that shit!" He can't really hear me because it's loud as hell on the helo and he doesn't understand English but he knew I was talking to his ass. Thank God, right after that we land.

So then I have to carry that entire heavy shit again and on top of that it's pitch black outside. Everyone is pretty much trained on how to work in the dark. I've been here for three days and I'm way better at it. But that night I couldn't see shit. The only time I could see something is when a tank(s?) fired off two rounds in the distance that shit was bright as hell and far away because when a shell is being launched you can see everything. In the LZ they don't speak they only talk by lights they will flash the lights and then you can go or whatever. It helps if you know the procedure. I didn't.

So anyways, they come and pull me and my stuff off the LZ and then ask me where I'm going. I have no idea so they call in a bus and transport me to the reception house and then they don't know where I belong so they tell me to stuff my gear in the reception house and then move me to general quarters.

About 5 minutes later a pair of marines come in and say, "Is there a Tommie Hustle here?"

I say, "Yes."



And one marine says, "Get your gear sir you are coming with me."

We went to the command center and then I FINALLY get some chow. I talk to the Marine he is from Iowa and he just came back for another tour. He said the money is really good too good to pass up and he doesn't have the credit rating to be a military contractor (You need like AAA credit or something like that).

I get in a Suburban and then they send me to my office and I meet my team members. One guy is named Ken Obi, he is about 50 and the other guy is named Kit, his birthday was on the 9th and he turned 31. He was pretty cool but I only chilled with him for about 2 days. I am his replacement. The guy had 5300 rap songs on his hard drive. I mean this guy was deep in it. So we talked for a bit and then I went to sleep - I didn't get to bed until 6:30 in the morning.